Focus

(This is another superb masterpiece by someone else. Could have been taken with a very large aperture and/or mirror lens. Probably Phillip would know the trick.)

What I have learnt today is that two persons can look in the same direction in life but see different things that ignite their imagination. It's only a matter of focus. What have you seen today?

Painting with X-rays

Helen, wana try? It's been so long since you last painted..

Found this amazing piece also. Can't remember where I got it from but I suspect it is from the retired physician also. You can try searching under "floral radiographs".

The work on the left has been totally plagiarised. This is probably what Radiography means - Painting with X-rays. In medical radiography, the pictures captured are probably less 'aesthetic'.

Maybe using an adjustable heat-gun on a material (wood/balsa) may also do the trick?

Radiograph of a flower

Found this from a website, using low dose X-radiation. Hmm... one day I shall try.

I am not sure if it will succeed... I need to focus. Maybe Yoga might help? haha.. Then I will get it enlarged, framed up and hang on the wall.

Life can be interesting sometimes, if you look beyond the buttons to push.

I thank God for the many many things that have happened over the last few years. For a start, Earth is one of them. It is the stage on which He has planted me after making me. This is where it all began for all of us also. But none can fathom the intricate designs and social architecture work that went ahead to make everything fit in like a magic jigsaw puzzle. Like, my family, my church and my friends, brothers and sisters.

In some strange way, we have all met by some interesting "co-incidences", which I believe, are not accidental.

Anyway .... (let's move on.)

"See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? " (Mt6:28b-30 NIV)

"He leads me to walk beside still waters. Tho I may walk through the valley of the shadow of death, yet will I fear no evil. For You are with me. You are my Lord." Ps 23 (MOV)

Unfinished Journey

Taken in KL. These lamas came all the way to showcase their "mantras" (if I rem correctly).

Note that the colors being used were from colored sands which each monk carefully sprinkled onto the board.

The future destiny of the world depends on the unification of colours being used here. It looks complex and yet so simple. Such is the color of life.

I also remember the roti-boy which supposedly got famous there (according to Hwee Mun).

Q1: Samsung UltraMobile PC

For another review, try this:

http://jkontherun.blogs.com/jkotr_audio_edition/2006/05/watch_jkontheru.html

Cool UMPC : Samsung Q1

Some interesting reviews I have read ....

The Pros:

Included Data cable makes transferring data between your computer or Tablet PC and the Q1 umpc simple and easy
Fun to use
Light weight - 1.7 pounds
Full Tablet PC OS
Touch Screen
Good Sound Quality
Excellent Screen
Ethernet port
Built in Stand
Wrist Strap
Allows you the mobility to have a full functioning computer with you anytime you need it, anywhere you go

The Cons:
Even though its up gradable to 1GB, the Q1 can only be purchased in one configuration with 512MB, the Q1 performance would be greatly improved with a full Gig of memory.
Tiny pen is hard to hold and has no option to tether so its easy to lose
Tip can only be used docked
Instructions for choosing the actions for the user defined button are not in the manual
Click/double click using the auto scaler button in conjunction with the menu button - is difficult at best
No PCMCIA slot for use with Cellular EDVO cards

In Conclusion:
The Ultra Mobile PC was designed for ease of mobility and convenience and the Q1 provides that.
If you enjoy the convenience of having all of your desktop applications, email, MP3, Pen and Ink capabilities, GPS and other computer features all in a 1.7 pound package doesn't weigh you down when your out and about the Q1 is worth looking into.

On the whole, this week has finally passed by rather smoothly. I am glad it did.
I actually dread the coming retreat. I feel that retreats are supposed to be stress-free but my 6th sense keeps telling me this isn't going to happen.

Regarding the situation at work currently, I am sure that ultimately, we are all accountable for the Peace we uphold in this world, as well as all the Conflicts we participate in, or unintentionally spark off, or fuel.

There are really some things more important than power, recognition, promotion, money.... I believe that there's a difference between good friends, and true friends. That difference has made friends into bitter enemies, lovebirds into cheaters, and business partners into rivals.

So, looking back, I am still very thankful for I have my family and the friends.
Thanks for all the morale support, and counsel. Thanks so much.

My Dream Keyboard

Laser Keyboard currently available. Cool right?

Late Dinner at Tiong Bahru

Have been feeling rather stressed out and also inadequate at work lately. So I would take a long trip back home. Enjoyed the nice long rides in the night, especially when the air is cool and traffic is light.

The engine was purring away at 80. I wish I could go around Singapore some day and take pictures. There are so many scenic places in Singapore, actually. I just wonder why people would neglect to look beyond the invisible walls they erect around themselves.

I remember a particular night after work and decided to go back with a friend for dinner along the way. We found a little coffeeshop in the middle of a "dead town" somewhere near Tiong Bahru. Surprisingly good business, if you could see how quiet it was everywhere else. No one would have supposed that a shop like this would thrive in a little district like this.

Anyway, the business must have been good enough for people to travel all the way there to eat. Forgot to take a picture to show you. There'll be another chance to, I think....

World Radiography Day 2006

The Piaggio MP3

Piaggio, the Italian scooter giant which gave the world the iconic Vespa, unveiled a revolutionary three-wheeled scooter which will make it almost impossible for its rider to fall off.
The Piaggio MP3 has two wheels at the front to provide more stability for the rider, and does away with the need to kick it up on its stand when parking.
"It's an absolutely new product which we hope will excite customer interest," said Piaggio chief Roberto Colaninno, who is hoping the new model will be a big hit on the streets of Europe as well as in Asia and the United States as the price of oil soars to an all-time high.
A 250cc model goes on sale in Italy next month, at a price of around 5,000 euros. The MP3 will be exported initially only in a 125 cc version. The company's most successful product, the Vespa, turned 60 this month.

My Little Maths Tutor

My niece Beckie (Rebecca).
Caught her practising on the abacus.

She has grown much bigger since but still retains very much the japanese/korean look.
Maybe still just as 'khung' also.

Khung Khung va Ding Ding

Beckie was annoyed and refused to pose for a shot. Wasn't easy catching both their shots in one go. At one time, one would be looking here and the other would be doing something else. So this shot wasn't the one I had imagined but to me, I think it's ok lah.

Cool! Piaggio!

Another Piaggio. I like its simplistic style. Should be fun for city cruise as well as for country roads.

Ferris

It was suspected that my lens has a "back-focus" problem. Shall have to wait for the technician to recalibrate it for me - in a few days' time. No choice, but come Saturday, Nov 11 - which is the public forum day - I shall have to use the F828. Let's see how.
Maybe I should look for a bounce/diffuser on Wednesday for the flash. See how it goes.
Managed to get some shots with oil - this is what I got.

This picture was taken at East Coast. There was a light shower earlier and also probably very little crowd.
Saw this and took it by impulse, just to test the camera again.

Yesterday was World Radiography Day 2006 and it is the first to be celebrated in Singapore. This marked the beginning of a new era for Singaporean radiographers, I suppose.
I had volunteered to be photographer for the day's event at the carnival at Bishan Park 1. From 8am to 1pm.

There was also another event for my department to celebrate the occasion. Our HOD and Manager would also like to use the opportunity to share with everyone regarding the future plans for the department. You see, 2 years ago, we had a department-wide staff survey to assess how everyone felt about the department and the work they were doing, etc. We then had a retreat to plan and work on what we would like to see over the next few years from then. I was excited not because of all the things they have planned ahead for us, since I already knew more or less, the heart and soul of the organisation and its intentions, but because I understand the amount of painstaking planning and reorganising that everyone at the top has already been putting in to try to make the dreams come true. I am anxious how the folks will receive the news and what's cooking. But to be frank, after having witnessed how kindness have been "appreciated" by self-centred ingrates, wonder whether it is all worth it. Anyway, life goes on. There are 99 more to care about.

For the occasion, I had gotten myself a pair of telephoto lens too, which I bought at secondhand: Sigma 18-200mm. 3.5-6.3. The seller was an old gentleman Phillip had introduced to me. So, I took about 300 shots covering both the events, except for the part when the walk&jog was flagged off. I was too busy capturing the scenes at the carnival then. Hope at least 1 of the 2 other photographers would be there to catch the momentos. Unfortunately, there was hardly any coordination regarding phototaking.

Could not wait to check out the pictures which I had taken. Both sad (and shocked) a number of the shots were bad. Vignetting was terrible, especially at the near end. Group shots made it more evident. Should have tried stopping down and correct for the lens. Or was it the lens?? Shall have to send the lens back to the seller and check it out. But first, need to print out some samples to show him. By tonight. Hopefully its my technique and not the lens. Otherwise, wasted, Man!

Spent the whole afternoon salvaging some of the pictures. Cham!

Sis, if you are reading this, pls don't tell mother I had bought the lens hor. Costed me a bomb actually but I had thought I could bring it with me when I next go vacation. Also an investment in a potential sideline too. Will show you and Yen some nice pics if I have captured anything nice enough with this.

Better get back to work.

The Way

There was once a novice monk who went up a mountain seeking a Zen master's tutelage.
When he found the master at last, seated under the bodhi tree, he gave a deep bow and pleaded with the master to keep him as his disciple.

One day, halfway through his meditation, he asked his master.
"Master, I have learnt this art of meditation since I was a child when my parents left me to the abbot's care. Why do I have to sit here beside you all day long and you have not taught me anything more eversince the first day I arrived? Didn't you promise to help me get to the Way?"

The Master got up from his spot under the shade of the tree. "Here, you may seat yourself under this tree."

The monks exchanged places and the disciple was momentarily satisfied with his Master's favourite seat.
He remained seated for some time more. But still, the days grew longer and longer, and soon, the little monk's growing impatience got the better of him.

Being unable to focus, he asked his teacher, " Master, may I know how long more will it take for me to be where you are?"

"Maybe soon. Maybe tomorrow." "Master, what if I worked extra hard and meditate here day and night?"
"1 year. Maybe more."

"What if I swear never to leave this spot and even half the time for my meals and sleep?"

"10 or more."

The little monk grew perplexed. "Master, why is it that when I said I would work even harder, you would say it would take a longer time to master?"

"That is because when you strain one of your eyes to look at your future, you have only one left to find your way."

(The answer lies not in the spot where one is seated. Nor does it lie in the length of time that one spends at a given activity. Truth is like a friendship that blossoms along the way.)

A Prayer by Jim Elliot - (for my sis, Helen. I found this while moving out.)

I set my love upon thee, child
I knew thee far away
I wept to see thee wandering, wild
I yearned 'til thou didst pray
One of the hateful rebel band
Strong in thy lust for sin
A furtive, fitful, fiery soul
I loved; I called thee in
Stripped thee of thy grimy pride
Laid bare thy secret want
Poor vagabond of empty ways
I sent my Spirit to haunt
Now, desert son, the choice is thine
My love thou canst forget
And go to roaming wasteland paths
Wilt, willful, wander yet?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Master, in whose life I see
All that I would, but fail to be
Let thy clear light forever shine
To shame and guide this life of mine

Though what I dream and what I do
In my weak days are always two
Keep me, oppressed with things undone
O Thou, whose deeds and dreams were one

- John Hunter -

Zen (quoted, or as something that goes like this ... )

Sow a thought, reap a behaviour.
Sow a behaviour, reap a habit.
Sow a habit, reap a character.
Sow a character, reap a destiny.

We had a little BBQ party just now. Rushed to collect the Satay I ordered - 150 sticks! Shiok!
The shop is somewhere in Katong, and from there, went all the way to find the PIE.
From the PIE all the way to Jurong. Sounded easy. The last time I went that road to Bukit Batok East was a few years back when I habitually fetched Rebbie home. West Mall! This time, I went all the way to Jurong and nearly hit TUAS if I had not asked two fellow travellers.

The condo was just next to West Mall. The one I had wished I could live in one day. It has a large swimming pool and so many BBQ pits!! Overall, very well designed. Just that I did not have a peep inside the building but the exteriors was already great!

Anyway, I was glad the turn out turned out to be great! Cecilia and Jean said they were very happy that so many friends and well-wishers had turned up. Felt a little sad to see them go tho. They had been working with us for the last 4 years but alas, its the end of their 4 year-term. We could only wish them all the best and hope that they really will find a greater prospect, maybe in Canada or UK (just like Shirley) and build their lives there. So, after this month, I believe some friends are going to be permanently separated by a great distance in-between.

We used to have a HCA, Shirley and another, Nancy. They had brought us so much laughters in our department. Busy, but not boring. Of course, I also remember the times when there were tears and heartaches. I have also felt their anger and frustrations with who and who. But these were so easily forgotten, especially during our year end celebrations.
Yea, life goes on. And we should find opportunities to celebrate.

Tuesday
Woke up very late today. CK went Peninsula Plaza and apparently forgot that he had to fetch Beckie to her tuition class today at 1.30pm. So I brought her there instead. It was my first time fetching her and was also concerned she might be scared. But it ended ok. She was braver than I thought. Came home to watch cable for a while more before CK arrived and we went RC plane. Despite the hazy sky and the wind, it was rather ok for plane. Surprising to see so many enthusiasts today. I think Tampines is going to be another hotspot for plane lovers soon.

CK got his inspiration I guess, from a Jimmy and Wong (with a little kid apprentice) who were there flying their own DIY planes. $600-$1k for the whole kit. Cool! These were huge planes, probably plywood or balsa. Not sure, but felt a little heavy. The diesel engine was surprisingly not as noisy as I had thought. I was a little tempted becos of the DIY possibilities. But HaiYen would probably kill me. I asked about heli and Wong quickly brought out a T-Rex from the boot of his car and did a solid demo for me. He could really fly his T-Rex in all ways except invert. Would be a fantastic way to spend my weekends with Yen in future, and also provided I have loads of cash to spare to the point where she wouldn't mind, hehe. Thankfully, CK has got very good sponsors! He flew (and lost) his last few planes for free! Reminded me of another kind of rc: KITES with neon lights. (Check out this website: www.goflykite.com . ) They normally demo in the evenings and the kites look like a lot of giant fireflies flitting through the dark skies in various formations. Cool!!

Anyway, for now, I've decided RC is not for me although I would still love to go build one for myself someday. Got bitten by this bug when I met 1 korean penpal who introduced me to it. His was a VERY big remote controlled plane! Probably a kid could sit inside. Korea is also a very beutiful place to play these planes. At least not yet. Because in my heart there's Yen. I wish she were here and we could always spend those weekends leisurely away at these spots and feel the breeze.

Came home and rested while waiting for Yen to return from her youth group outing. Mum has to go Katong again to look after the princesses. I just have to sit infront of the comp and watch cable again. Time really flies. DeepaRaya is soon going to be over. Wonder how life is like in Indonesia now for those who are homeless. And also South Thailand. Pray for peace ... especially for the children for whom these troubles have been created by the adults.

See If You Won't Laugh

思娘

Spent a whole weekend wasted as far as homework is concerned.
Moved out from my room into the other room.
Went with Tony to somewhere in Orchard to collect a 29" Sony Wega from a friend for mum's room.
Nice friend. Surprisingly it works and so it saves us a bomb having to get a new TV set!
So, that's how I spent my Sunday - shifting things around, and helping my cousin dismantle SY's old PC.
After having successfully removed the LCD from the rest, we decided we do not need it. So, back it goes into the box.

Anyway, I suddenly realised just how much of a backlog I have up till tonight. Will probably have to stay up again tonight. Should have done part of it this afternoon instead of helping Tony dissect the PC.

真人快打旋風 波動拳 升龍拳

16Oct2006

Have been feeling rather down lately also. I think it probably has nothing to do with work but rather, with things going about at work and also how things have been turning out for some of my friends.

I have a friend whom I have always treated like a brother. He is about to submit his resignation letter. Perhaps it is for the better for himself and his family he has to feed. Reminds me of another younger (but much taller) brother. He too has a family to take care of and the pay that my department is currently offering can never match. I think, if it is the packet of pay which will make one smiles brighter at the end of the month, why not? I would have considered myself dumb if I would not secure a neat piece of cheese and put it on the dinner table for my family.

There's been these talks about pay lately and we have been tasked to find out how we could improve our basic pay structure to help our colleagues feel better and help them consider staying on in the department. Yet, at the other corner, there have been people asking how much they should be asking for if they wish to join another organisation. Unfortunately, I must admit I am not a good soothsayer. Neither am I good at guestimates. I can read character though, but it is not something that will get anyone being stereotyped. But somehow, I could sense where one stands along that Mercenary-Missionary spectrum where it concerns Pay and job satisfaction. It just helps me to guess, with a fair bit of accuracy, about a person's tendencies during decision-making process. Perhaps that is often how I got my repeated customers to tell them about their future.

But the future has only 2.
Generaly, everyone should be optimistic and all should do any good job well. If they keep at doing it with all their hearts, I know they will get somewhere. Provided they own up to their mistakes and shortcomings and learn to overcome their personal barriers and hindrances which rob them of their final achievements. Don't have to read the 8 Habits.

The other future is more realistic: This world will definitely end soon, whether it means one's internal world, or the world at large. Someday at last, we will have to place our feet down and slowly drag the carousel of time to a halt. Then we will get out of this circle of life. We have been through childhood, adolescence, teens, puppy-loves and infactuations. We have finally found the one we will commit our lives to - for better or for worse, for rich or for poor. We also have seen many of our friends being given in marriage or attended their housewarming parties. But soon, the number of days to come will begin to catch up with the number of friends we are left with. That's the reality.

If we have been cruel and loveless, the amount of vegan meals we eat later on probably aint going to be enough to provide good karma. See, our dentition may be a problem by the time we try to catch up. I don't know.

I stand at the crossroads everyday and there are countless decisions to be made. I personally believe that whichever path one chooses, it does not necessarily depend on the reward that one will receive at the end of that path. But rather, it should be the good that one has given to those he meets along the path that he has chosen. It also does not really matter anyway, whereever one goes, or whichever company one joins ultimately, etc etc. Whatever the decision that was made, and whereever you have chosen to plant your feet, grow. Do good. That's what this chance to prod on earth is all about. We are humans endowed with conscience, and afinity towards fellow kind, to prevent harming ourselves and others that we share this place with.

I wish that when I turn 62, I will have still more friends who will walk the rest of the way with me. Not that I crave attention nor love to be surrounded by people, I just feel that it is important we will ultimately live life to the fullest and by conscience, done our best. Run the good race, fight the good fight.

Another week has passed. I remember I was trying to file up all the paperwork and also did some transferring of files and now, it is another week gone.

Tony came to help fix some wiring today so that I can watch SCV from the other room instead. Got a few projects piling up for him to complete by next Sunday. This week I will have to go look around for something to replace my little TV.

Lydia has suddenly been bitten by the condo-HDB bug. Barely 2 years and she now wishes to live there. I persuaded her to rent her house, and with that income she could support her course fees. In the meantime, she could move in and live with us. She could help take care of mum also, considering her age.

At work, life has been ok except for 2 bad news. 1 is that we are probably about to lose 2 radiographers if they fail their tests held by HSA. Results are out recently. I need to know the outcome by this week. It is for their good also that everything is known early. Don't quite understand all those tunes about "professionalism".

My cheese has moved and so must my family and I. Whether that test paper deems me as one or not, I am still a professional. Read once where it said that Professionalism is a set of regulations one group of people sets up to exclude another. They established 'standards' so that those who passed that criteria will be accepted. But so far in my career, I have come across many who have passed, or were exempted from taking that test, were conducting themselves worse than those who failed that paper.

Baywatch 2006

This week has been rather routine. Except for 2 bowls of porridge with an old buddy.
Shall go again for sure. Reminds of the time I was small.
My family was poor when I was smaller. My mum was a hospital "amah" and she had to leave for work everyday while I went to school. That began when I had just started Primary education in Charlton School.

I remember that in the afternoons, after school, I would always have my lunches from a thermos-flask. It was nice to have porridge with "acha" or salted peanuts, or black olives. When we moved to Sim's Avenue and I started my secondary school education, then I could have instant noodles, fried eggs and roti prata. My dad had introduced me to Nasi Bryani and deep fried fish too.

I missed those days when I would cycle to school, especially in the rain. Fun! It's a different feeling, as I travel back from work everyday.

Can you remember what your childhood was like before you first got your car? How was your secondary school like? Or College? Did you have a buddy when you were young?

I had a few actually. But there is one since my childhood. We studied at Sennett Estate School together. Then when she went to Cedar, I went to Victoria. We both joined the bands. Somehow we would still be in touch with each other. When she got married, I was still a bumming layliolafer. She went into Financial Planning (Prudential) and now she is already planning for retirement with her hubby and children. How nice it would be to be able to retire so young! She has a different concept about life.

For me, I don't know if I can retire young. Or I suppose I will probably have to "re-tyre" instead. It's been such a long time eversince I had a nice bowl of porridge. I think it was really good therapy just to recall those porridge days.

It is better to serve than to be served.

I heard of someone who had completed his MBA after returning from overseas studies. He got this great job in one of our top companies in Singapore. I understood that he had also been earmarked to be the head of the organisation that he had been tasked to set up. The plans did not materialised unfortunatle due to a series of unfortunate events in the region. He was retrenched. This is very common story it seems.

In the end, the security guards and only 1 clerk got to keep their jobs. I suppose, no matter how bad the times have become, the directors would still be sipping their teas and going around in their shining Lexus. The friend lost not only his dream job, but also all the preparatory work he had put in for his projects. I have heard of supposedly bankrupt directors who continued to party their nights away or going around in their BMWs.

This is a picture of how thin the ice can get for anyone who just wishes to venture into foreign terrain and hopes to reap all those "everything-provided-for" kind of perks from the prospective organisation. One safe bet is to look at the track records and whether the company has any plans for retention at all, just in case they are only paying lip-service.

In the meantime while you wait for that golden opportunity to get that dream job of yours, the Morale of the story:- Learn to do one thing VERY VERY WELL. But I can assure you, it is NOT paperwork.

It was my department's Family Day today at the beach. Fun day; hilarious at times. Except that the evening ended up somewhat with a little bit of disappointment because my section did not clinge the first prize and on top of losing that Challenge Trophy (which had decorated our wall this year), we will not be getting our $200 cash reward too.

Looking back now, I think it is ok because, deep in our hearts, we know we have already put in our hearts and spirits. Winning the trophy has just been a way to help us stay focus on a single goal so that we could get together and work on it single-mindedly. Now that all the intense energy on that focus has just dissipitated together with the trophy, I realise the trophy was just something like an emblem, which never was. Last year, we won by a hair, because we had only few players but some good fortune. This year, some of those good players who played for our side last year, are playing for the others. Next year, it is highly that will change too. Or I may end up having to play for some other teams or cheer for them. So I guess, it is all a self-deluding game. In the end, there will only be two types of people who will win:- The punters or organisers (depending on whether there is illegal betting going on secretly among them) and those playing just for fun and having a good time with fellow team-mates.

I think I finally got the picture:- Enjoying our team isn't about getting one trophy. The trophy may actually break up the team. The real test is whether we will always be able to come back and celebrate the misses just as well as the scores - if any.

It isn't about winning this year's game, or next. It isn't about Man U or Korea winning, or about being part of the winning team. These work great for people placing bets and making tons of money. I feel that the greatest thing in being part of the team and playing games together (without a care who, or how big the challenger is), is this: that for a time, we really have fun together and kick butts.

I think what's most important to me now is that we will always be a fun-loving and close-knitted community. Non-Exclusive and all-inclusive. After we have been "living together" for the last 3 years, I pray that we will go beyond punctuality issues, beyond gossips and backscratchers. While some of the mistakes we commonly do may not still not be acceptable, but I believe the long-term friendships should have some powers to deem them forgiveavable.

Come 2007, I hope we will continue and become a even greater team! If my boss will decide to let me remain and grow old with them ...

The Management Revolution

Back in the early days, the women gathered fruits and the men hunted meat. Some among them became leaders... saving their strengths to fight only the most ferocious preys or to fend off predators ...serfdom and slavery then made it clear that there were some others who deserved to be much lower than everybody else.

Communism tried to rectify that and leveled the playing fields. It was supposedly a good thing, becos during those times, regardless of how much one has studied, or how skilful or talented one was, everyone was contributing to the economy. Since everyone contributed, everyone should have a equal paycheck. Lawyers, doctors, teachers and pilots would be paid the same way the farmers or the acrobats and the good ole village fool was.

Then came Taylorism and the scientific management was invented. Every motion had to be studied and wasteful steps eliminated to enhance efficiency. Soon, everyone had to be efficient and worked to keep their jobs. To ensure that the more efficient workers would be getting paid more, during that time, out of every 10 who had work to do, there would be 6 working and 4 watching.

Then soon entered the auditors. As the world gets smarter in this information age, management also gets re-educated and enlightened. But soon, out of 10 workers in the company, there are only 4 working, 4 watching and 2 getting pensions.

But during economic recessions, many companies will be trying to tighten their budget with what they consider "fats". They will also probably have to send teams of auditors to check on which part of the "fats" they could take off. In the end, I think we may be left with only 4 working, 2 watching and 4 who will also eventually get laid-offs.

I don't know what else will the govt do with 4 laid-offs and 2 supervisors doing all the paperwork and audits all carried out religiously to make sure that these 4 other miserable working bodies will not be able to have too much of a good life at the expense of the company's accounts.

Some bigger companies have also been praised by the government for rehiring some of these "retrenched executives" and gave them jobs to make sure "the girls at the counters" would remember to smile to the customers.

It would have been a rather bad day today had it not been for an old friend who suddenly showed up to visit me.

Anyway, today ended - 8.15pm! But it isn't unusual. Who cares?

My friends at the department will probably not be able to appreciate how much I've wished for the kind of working hours they are having - 5Days a week.

I think I could give myself a pat on my back for having made life pretty ok for cosy for everyone now, at what otherwise would have been more emergencies at work than accidents on the road. Yet, I can't be happy after realising that there is someone smart alek out there swiping blunt remarks at those of us who who have at least tried to take care of him/her. Really can't fathom these folks. Just like the saying goes, the best politicians are probably found at the coffeeshops.

There is also another the sub-species - those who probably won't care two hoots either, even if the department falls apart while trying to give them some butter on their bread. They will also probably say that this is our job and that's not something that they should be concerned about since there will always be others waiting to prove themselves ANYWAY.

I think they are probably right. That's our sacred duty to try meet the common needs for higher salaries and lesser duties or better machines. But I wonder whether their eyeballs would roll the moment you ask them "how about a little sacrifice".
I don't know who will fit into this category of staff but pls do not blame pple if you have been been making others put in all the sacrifices more for you and you, hardly any for the others. E.g. MCs, urgent leaves and being unreliable co-worker.

Anyway, my thanks to my angel today who took time to drop by just to say "hi".

"The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page." (Saint Augustine)

It's been a boring weekend, again.
Just saw the advertisements about Sony Alpha - the 10M DSLR.
Hmm, wonder what the future will be for DSLRs. Wonder why people stopped producing the likes of the F828 which has a built-in 30fps videocam.

Anyway, I think there are more important things that matter in life. Like getting my article completed.
I'm beginning to feel suffocated. Like getting stuck in the middle of so many projects with no outcomes in sight.

Had a good meeting with TCC and GKL on saturday.
We spoke about the future for various groups of radiographers in the department. It was at this point in time that I realised how massive the job is going to get. Not easy going to move issues across the table. Minus the issues about moving people later on. Anyway, I should be more focussed from now on.

Ok, getting bored again.

Street-life in Vietnam

Almost another week is about to pass me by.

Enough said. I am bored. I wish I can be anywhere just at the speed of thought. Then I can be anywhere in 1 day.

Sad huh, having to start working against gravity the moment we are born.

Why don't humans have wings at all?

Rain In Ho Chi Minh City

Today is Singapore's National Day celebrations!
It's been raining on and off these days. Thankfully, the drizzles come and go within 10 mins. I have taken lots of pictures, of bustling life in the city, rain or shine and of children, fruit peddlars, and all sorts of mobile enterprises.

There were many shots that I have missed. A pity! One was of a little girl coming out from her house to burn incense paper by the roadside. (This is month of Hungry Ghost.) I heard from Yen that there were snatch-thieves who were probably hungrier than the real ghosts. The items were stolen before the real ghosts could get at the food/fruits. She said the culprits were "living ghosts".

Anyway, cost of living is still cheaper than in Singapore, although that may be about to change very soon. The lives of the ordinary folks seem to be, in my own categorisation, "happy". Not exactly like our Singaporean kind of happy. There is no rush for PPA rating of 1 - which I think has been the only way for us to separate the diehard workers from the hardtodie workers.

Another day is gone.

Time flies in Saigon

Time really flies and it's end of Sunday.
Literally spent too much time recuperating - slept and slept and slept. Did not realise I was so tired or was it jet-lag? Anyway, feasted my eyes on the motorbikes and scooters in Ho Chi Minh city. Think I will add sound to my X9 when I get back.

Met a guy friend of Yen's cousin's bf. Very nice and humorous guy. I like him. He has also just graduated from his Uni and was offered a job in a bank. He will probably visit me in September-October. He is planning on coming to Singapore to do his MBA. He told me he has just managed to prepare $10k and asked me if it is enough. Sadly I had to tell him, "No." Perhaps the better term would have been "No Way". Then he said he has just gotten a job in the bank. Starting work in September. His boss has sort of agreed to grant sponsorship for his studies in part if his work is good. So I do not know how long will that take. But I am just very impressed by their interests in coming over to Singapore to study. Right now, he is already preparing for GMAT. The other is Uyen, Yen's cousin sister. She has also been saving up and will also probably seek part sponsorship. Her boss (she is working as boutique manager) from this Japanese firm seems ready to sponsor her too. Or has it been all but false promises by foreign bosses trying to squeeze as much as they can from these young and energetic people?

I realise just how small and selfish my world has been. We lead a life in a very "clean" Singapore. Everything is supposed to be transparent and fair.... equality, justice, prosperity. For the moment, life here still seems to run on a different tune. It is like grabbing your bike and go meet a friend for "Ca Phe" or fruit salad. Here, life is simple and everyone works hard. When someone needs help, (not necessarily a girl because it happened to be me one day when I had trouble pushing my bike up the ramp) a neighbour guy would come out from his home and offer help. Twice it happened, and twice I was offered help by neighbours. I think this is becos life is simple. Singapore has become sophisticated. Even if we wish we could help someone, we have to always think about "implications", "transparency", and many many other "what- if-others-also-ask-for- it" etc. I have to think from so many angles when I am in Singapore. One just has to. Anyway, life is really getting complicated.

Having started my clinical stints along the MSR corridor, I think I have got this new zest for life - work-wise. Orthopedic is still my first love - greet customers, position and shoot, then process cassettes and admire the images! Of course there are some variations, plus plus. Don't forget we often have to work FAST AND FURIOUS. Even tho I thought we have already been pretty FAST at our work, and the customers remain FURIOUS. Sometimes, our supervisors also play this role called,"advocacy". So I guess they have every right to throw tantrums sometimes as well. Helped someone with a submission on the RMS. If you know what is RMS, I won't bore you with the details.

Today my senior shared with me. She said that worklife (when you come to work) is like acting and we are actors and actresses. Wear uniforms, and smile. We are paid to do so and not to come to work as if we are at home and throw our tantrums. I guess she is right. I have this psychological contract with my organisation to put on a certain level of acceptable behaviour such that when I represent this organisation well enough, the customer will return (to kick more butts). Somehow, the equation seems to have changed over the years.
On the left hand side, they have added more Auditors who kick butts just as hard as the patients do. Wonder why we have so many types of auditors nowadays. Anyway, I really believe she is right. I must accept the fact that we are paid to get kicked and put on an act. As long as we continue to convince ourselves, "our customers deserve our best"....

Life along the corridor has been fun so far. I particularly enjoy working with the good folks like Ginny, Tom, Suan Hoe, etc... they are the hardworking folks that run up and down the staff corridor. We will still catch a few seconds to joke a little, or laugh a little. Each time, I try to iron out my messed up work process and see which sequence would consume less energy and be more efficient.

My left foot hurts badly. Maybe due to age???? But I feel young! I can still hop! At my section, I feel I can understand what does "PMS" mean. Not that kind.. but "Perpectually Melancholic Syndrome". Just hope nothing like this happens at the workplace. Wish everyone can enjoy worklife just like I do, without a care or worry. This is what I've realised so far, that if life were to be really totally balanced and everything runs like clockwork, then there wouldn't be excitement. An occasional party or dinner outing all of a sudden would be great.

Anyway, Time really passes so quickly! Permanence is only relative...

Boy, it's been 2 months since I last updated the other site.

Went to Woodlands workshop as promised the boss Benny. Should have kicked myself for believing these guys. "It's only $45 and we will do everything"! Anyway, they did a clean job on the engine assembly, minus the belt. Costed me $154. Practised on the GPS again at woodlands and see if I could orientate my way home. Not too bad and the way home was a smooth and quiet one. Shiok. Will bring my camera the next time.

I guess life hasn't been "that bad" for everyone, no matter despite all the things that had happened. Someone once told me that nothing will be worse off than falling off the Hand of God. Thankfully, He can't let it happen. But no matter what happens to me in the future, as long as it comes from the loving hand that will rescue me from the fire, I have to accept.

Regarding blogging, or collecting/giving public comments on blogs - even on supposedly "private" blogs - I feel that one should learn to be responsible in speech and not just in deeds alone. There on the blog belies the secret thoughts. Behind the screen, the author has a certain courage, someone he/she has been so accustomed to all the years. There are many writers who spill out their guts out over any issue, political or trying to be sensual.

But there is really no such thing as 'a private blog', or 'my personal space', even if the author is the only one who has access to the page. As long as there is any chance that whatever has been said and later on, are reproduced somewhere else or by someone else, then the author of that blog should be equally responsible for whatever storms that have erupted out of the whole thing.

Even in one's own secret thoughts, one must learn to discipline oneself. One day, all these will well up from within your soul and you cannot help but try to live with that stench that you have been bottling up within. There is on the one side, externalities to consider before one makes use of a certain level of trust and privilege we humans claim as if it were our right. The "you-videocam-me, I-videocam-you" saga finally and successfully made stars out of each other. Wonder how they are doing now..... hehe. 3G handphones? Less obvious? People from Malaysia would come over and take a look! And in God's eyes, they too would be implicated and shall probably stand in Heaven's courts.

Maybe I could try writing to my friends, one at a time... or relate a childhood incident, while my memory is still with me. Or should I place my will here as well? Will it count? Life is too short in some places and too boring in others. I feel our children must really learn to be thankful. That's probably why every self-respecting department is overclocking to try keep all the unhappy employees satisfied.

The Way

There was once a novice monk who went up a mountain seeking a Zen master's tutelage. When he found the master at last, seated under the bodhi tree, he gave a deep bow and pleaded with the master to keep him as his disciple.

One day, halfway through his meditation, he asked his master."Master, I have learnt this art of meditation since I was a child when my parents left me to the abbot's care. Why do I have to sit here beside you all day long and you have not taught me anything more eversince the first day I arrived? Didn't you promise to help me get to the Way?"

The Master got up from his spot under the shade of the tree. "Here, you may seat yourself under this tree." The monks exchanged places and was momentarily satisfied with his Master's favourite seat. He remained seated for some time more. But still, the days grew longer and longer, and soon, the little monk's growing impatience got the better of him. Being unable to focus, he asked his teacher, " Master, may I know how long will it take for me to be where you are?"

"Maybe soon. Maybe tomorrow."

"Master, what if I worked extra hard and meditate here day and night?"

"1 year. Maybe more."

"What if I swear never to leave this spot and even half the time for my meals and sleep?"

"10 or more."

The little monk grew perplexed. "Master, why is it that when I said I would work even harder, you would say it would take a longer time to master?"

"That is because when you strain one of your eyes to look at your future, you have only one left to find your way."

(The answer lies not in the spot where one is seated. Nor does it lie in the length of time that one spends at a given activity. Truth is like a friendship that blossoms along the way.)

Band

I used to be in the band. We took part at the National Day Parades, Singapore Youth Festival celebrations, Interschool Outdoor Band competitions, and indoor band competitions as well. We had moved from being a Brass Band to Military Band to a Symphonic Band.

We had a music teacher, a band Instructor, a Drum Major, A Band Leader and a few section leaders. During play, we would be divided into 1st player, 2nd player, 3rd player, and the soloist. Basically, the musical pieces for band are written for different tunes and tones for the 1st, 2nd and 3rd players, and they are meant to blend in together and make the overall tone "round" or "full". Some pieces - especially those written for indoor ones - will have parts for the Soloist. For us, it did not matter whether we would be selected to play 1st, 2nd or 3rd part because each part would require the same amount of attention and effort. In fact, although the first parts were always much easier to remember, they would oftentimes be a little harder to master also. The 3rd parts would sound a little "off" sometimes but if you concentrate enough, you will enjoy how your sound blends with the whole team, not so much how terribly "off" your own playing might sound. But then, that's making music.

I thought the art of managing the workforce is similar to that of the conductor's or band instructor's art of conduting the band. We need someone to teach the individual skills in handling the instrument. Cause and effect. Listen to the sound they make - right or wrong. Unless they are tone-deaf still, they can be coached and trained into becoming the best players in the market. There was someone in charge of getting funds, buying new and repairing/replacing old instruments. The teacher in charge of us was also responsible for helping the band participate in the competitions, for booking auditoriums, transport, and one year (after I had left the school), the juniors were so lucky to be able to go play overseas! I only got to play at the Istana and shook hands with the President (once only)!

Anyway, the art of Management is something like making effort to bring a musical piece to life. There is no music with just good trumpeters blasting away and drowning the French-horns. What happens if the the clarinets play too hard until they squeak all the way? Can't imagine the din. I feel the conductor has the gift to listen for subtle tones from each of the players and engages each accordingly to the musical piece. There may be variations according to interpretation. But the practices and rehearsals and the impromptu twiches of the wand/hand will work magic. Hence, there should not be any confusion and experiences shared between players and conductor will make the art of music easier and easier.

Also, there is the art of coaching and self-practice. Through the coaching process, the player learns to overcome his/her weaknesses, correct those mistakes and gain more mastery over more difficult pieces. To me personally, to be a good musician, a tuned ear is very very important. That's the ultimate skill I wish to master. Everyone learns to listen to his or her own sound and adjust that to blend in with the sound that he/she hears from the rest.

This is vital to the art of synchronising and harmonising with everybody else and it decides what kind of music it will be. I realise I don't like conducting. Given a choice, I am just happy being just a musician. And I will be a happy one. Give me a song in my heart and I memorise it and I will play it in different ways.

I will hate to have to manage a terribly stubborn Trombone, a proud flutist or the soft but self-centred Horn.
Some of us do have problem understanding each other. The situation gets trickier when those who have been so motivated and wishing to lead, finally met one another ....

"He is no fool that gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."

Life is like a big blank page and living life the way we live like the strokes that form the characters that describe what we are.

"The reality is that if you work with a group of people, you will have to embrace their differences...." (quoted from a book by BBC)

Remembered a game - I shall call it "Ali Baba & His Team" - I had the opportunity to play on Pulau Ubin with a group of about 20 youths. Missed those times.. It's too complex but fun. Wish I could have the chance to play that game at one of our outings again. Lotsa things one can experience from there.

Anyway, lately a lot of reality I should not have ignored came to mind. Will really need some time off to deliberate over. I also have this strange feeling that things may not ultimately go the way I had been hoping them to.

I feel that certain things are not a matter of the amount of prayers one puts into them... or the amount of sincerity expressed in certain forms or rituals but rather, it is all about knowing something about the Will of God. No point getting what I want at the expense of getting out of His Will. So, what has been predestined, has already happened.

One's perspective will change over time and hence so will one's priorities.

The road ahead is not straight and we do not see beyond every bend or hill.

Just do not lose your humanity along the way. Hold on till the end and let your faith see you through.

No one promises you that you will either walk away unscathed and victorious, or emerge a limbless hero.

Sometimes there's little difference between a little cowardice and the smart old fool who chooses to fight in different battle. He is no fool who knows when will come the time to fight.

Just Venting....

Something happened at work yesterday. It was unbelievably cute and my friend and I just laughed it off momentarily and went back to our work. Anyway, sometimes someone just wanted to ventilate somehow. I think girls are more inclined to do so....

At work, I like my workplace and my organisation because I feel that at least, things do get moving, although albeit sometimes a little too slowly. Heard that there are gossip-mongers and scavengers - vulture-like creatures that would swoop down on an injured prey. Sometimes, Christians or not, some colleagues seem to have no mercy....

Anyway, My SG2000 kit finally arrived this afternoon from HK. Looking forward to achieving my state of virtual nirvana soon. Let's see how things go! Ommmmmmm........

what hinders us from achieving happiness at work or elsewhere

Common Asians are known to be more risk-averse. Especially asian children grown up in a well sheltered spoonfed environment. Most graduating radiographers are probably feeling disappointed that there may not be enough jobs for them when they graduate. They have grown accustomed to parents directing them which school to go for, which ECA to take part in, and probably what kind of jobs/career will be good. (Probably not applicable to the selection of spouses.) Even young radiographers would still need a push to decide if they should take up specialisation in a given field. I can understand the dilemma but I think it is because many have become so focussed on not losing out on what would have been a better choice. Basically, Kiasism.... Risk-aversion.

(There's another trait: Kiasuism. I have known someone who has this subconscious tendency and who tried to make sure that she would not get any less benefits than those in her same cohort. So we would have to ensure that in the name of equity - all things must be fairly distributed. But sometimes, welfare does not mean that the rain should fall equally on every patch of grass everytime there is a downpour. She will have her turn someday. To dictate that she must have the rain, everytime God lets it rain somewhere else, I think she is bound to be irritating one day.

Some people tend to be more "kiasu" than others. They cannot accept being at a more disadvantaged position than another person, no matter how slight the gradient is.)

3 Ds of Success

Desire - the hunger and motivation. It drives the person forward.

Dedication - this requires discipline. Think of the diehards and the highly motivated cultists. Unfortunately, dedication to a wrong cause. Where dedication and Desire speaks of energy and intensity, it does not touch on whether the aim was correct. Misdirected focus and energy is as dangerous as a micalibrated laser gun.

Naturally, the distance that one can cover depends on both Desire X Dedication.

Dare - this is the first, but necessary step towards any direction. The amount of desire and dedication determines the amount of Dare but not necessarily the other way round. The amount of Dare does not determine the amount desire nor the dedication. In other words, we can challenge and motivate someone. We can put someone to the test. But once the pressure is off, the intensity and perserverence fades off. A flash in a pan is a good example.

Ingredients necessary for achievements:-
Dare + Desire X Dedication in a given Direction.
But it sounds much easier in theory. Becos most people are in lack of these 3.

For Boon Chye - a brother

Boon Chye was one of the big brother-mentors who had taught me a lot during my youth. He used to work for his father running a factory making foams and polystyro...foams (whatever). They are meant for sofas, cushions, mattresses and beds. I knew of his wish to venture into China, and that was way way ahead before talks about WTO. That was during my early Bartleyan YF days - before CG came and swept through BCC and probably Singapore.

He has always been like a big brother to me. I enjoyed talking with him. His tone of voice, his mannerism, big-hearted nature and his unique boyish laughter... I feel Jill must have been a very lucky girl to become Mrs Tay! He is one of those rare breed kind. Both Simon and I have also been very fortunate to have him like a big brother.

When I was first just starting out as a trainee radiographer in SGH, Boon Chye seemed to understand that I was having difficulties adjusting to my new work environment. He offered to bring me jogging with him down from Tampines to Bedok Central. It was a nice jog. We did not talk much because I just wanted to be silent whenever I wasn't happy. We ran from Tampines, round Bedok reservoir and then down to Bedok central. There we had A&W rootbeer float! Awesome! Especially after the sweat-out. Then he shared with me his work issues which prompted me to share mine. Not sure if he had planned it, but somehow his topic hit me and that was how he helped me see through mine.

There was also another time (just before final exams in Yr 3) and while celebrating a friend's birthday, he brought a bunch of the guys to visit me. (Because I wasn't in the mood to go with them. So he brought them to visit me.) I am very sorry if I had hurt him. I was the stubborn type and normally would not like people to change plans for me. But despite the sourly attitude that I had, he managed to coax me into going for a midnight spin with him. He offered to let me drive his family's new car. It was supposed to be a fun ride except that my heart wasn't there. I nearly crashed into another car. Anyway ... The night turned out alright. We went somewhere in Mountbatten (I think) where we had good supper and celebrated someone's birthday. Can't remember whether it was Yong Phong's, Sit Kei's or Simon's...

Looking back, I am really thankful for someone like him. Soon, he got married, and I also got so engrossed in my own work, I neglected to keep in touch with him. I believe the rest still are keeping in touch. For all the good times, I am also thankful for his words of advice and encouragement.

He had said to me that if I could lead a group of people to do the same, I could reach out to more patients than I could with just a pair of hands. That was probably something which helped me accept what I am today. Otherwise, I would still be running around the department with some gamebook in my jacket or dodging the arrows.

Just remembered why I am here.

Just imagine. While trying to rush through an examination on an elderly, she gripped your hand so tightly and smiled. You smile back to her and as you look into those eyes, you realise that there are tears coming down the side of her eye? I know of a pain that is silent. It is probably the result of mixing both aches and fear and hole it all up inside, stir it and prolong it for the next few years. It is the pains that the elderly become so familiar with. At the hospital, sometimes there's nothing left to say. The tables are hard and cold. There is no time for blankets and companionship. The radiographers appear to be more engrossed with their patient's hands or legs, or hips appearing perfectly on the workstations while she lays stiff and cold on one side in the X-ray room, wondering what is happening to her next, what is happening to her children ... and her grandchildren.. Hear these:

"let me go...."
"I have nothing to eat or drink since morning when my children sent me to this hospital."
"The doctor is busy, maybe I can come another day."
"You are so clever. So young become doctor ah? Pls no need to do anything for me becos I dont need my children waste money on me."
"No, you are busy too, but pls call my son to bring me home. It is too expensive for him to put me here."
"How much? But I am old woman. I have no money." (She was crying.)

Everyday I have to come across people waiting anxiously for a family or friend outside the theatre. Some were in groups. But my heart goes to the lonely figure sitting on the floor - alone. I also know the loneliness of the one lying still and cold on the trolley inside the theatre, feeling helpless and or hopeless. Not that the operations will be hopeless, but rather, whatever adjustments that will need to be done after the operations. Life & Death does not end there, in the OT. Even if the surgeons can fix the leg or hip, or remove the tumour, we realise that there is still a need for God - God of the living. God of our Quality Adjusted Life Years. And we wish we could go back in time and start all over.

Life goes on. Interesting people makes life interesting and fun. But happiness can be so fragile and it becomes so easy to frown. I see a fresh hope in Yen who is now so happy and free, and moving around on her little bike. In a place where quality can still be within easy reach.

Blog on Saturday

Don't know what happened last night. Feeling kinda bored and frustrated.

Also knocked into a bike's handlebar while trying to park. And that bike was STATIONARY.
My mirror broke. Becos the wire was still attached inside and it was pretty late, I could not remove the mirror assembly.

Today I went to get the spare parts from Ah Boy. Heard he sells reasonably cheap. Now I feel I still gota give that statement some discount for a fact. And a little poor salesmanship and service too. People just tolerated. Standing beside me was a big man who kept gritting his teeth. Could think of a couple of ways how that shop could do much better but heck... definitely none of my business. I just needed my mirror assembly. BTW, $165 per piece!

Quite interestingly, managed to find some interesting stuffs also for my next project. Next aluminium bars! After that, my very own customised travel bag! Yeah!

Chew Kim came at around 5pm to help fix the brake lights. Very nice! Will have to paste some more reflective tape to alert other road users who tend to follow too close. Then we went to Phin's. According to him, the steak was good. hmm, will try that 1 day.

Just now Yen prayed for us so earnestly. I am really thankful for the way God arranges everything for us. But I really miss her so much. Anyway, baxa, He who has already begun to do a good work in you, will carry it on till the end. This is our God, who is, who was and who is to come. Amen.

Back to my tub.....

Urban Zen

"When you see the Sun, do not look down on the moon
For there is one thing which the Sun cannot do but the Moon can
- Shine in the dark."

"The moon does not seek its high position among the celestial bodies.
Neither does it complain about the Sun.
Nobody ever says the moon is too hot
Nobody feels the moon is too far."

The competitive delights to win and gain
Someone will advertently share the blame
Meekness is often mistaken for weakness
Fake humility is often deceitfulness.

Beware of the friend who comes close but who cannot bridle his tongue
Because in the end the tongue will betray them both

Do not quarrel with an angry man
There is no answer for a man who does not ask
But lose every argument if it will bring you a friend

The Story (Part 2)

Soon, minutes seemed like hours. She had never done anything so sneaky like this before in her entire life. In fact, she had already regretted her decision to stay back that evening as all hundred and one things she could have otherwise done flashed across her mind. Yet, her curiosity had apparently glued her to the spot beneathe her desk, which was actually at a distant corner in the room. Nobody would figure there was a young lass hiding below her own desk after office hours. However, if she were ever caught, it would be unthinkable what kind of things would befall her and her future. She really felt stupid but I think she was pretty brave! (My kind of girl!!)

Anyway, of course, the Director came back to work as usual. A tall and tanned gentleman, and rather solemn-looking one. (Maybe that's the thing with after-office hours shifts: there was nobody to greet him, make him smile or get him angry.) The gal crept out from below her desk and tried to look at her mysterious boss. He would not be able to see her with his back at an angle to her. Besides, she was very clever to have chosen the perfect spot to observe him from. Under the silhouete, she was very well camouflaged. Unless, she ...... sneezed!

Another Story

There was once a young lady who got a job through a local newspaper advertisement.
At the interview, she was told that by the HR Agency's rep that she would be employed based on her application, and also because her prospective employer had already done sufficient background checks on various aspects of her life before the interview. She was agreeable to the sum, although she was still puzzled and impressed by the amount of effort this company invested on new candidates.

During the first few weeks on the job, she thoroughly enjoyed working at the new setup among her colleaques and her seniors. However, soon it dawned on her that she had never really met the company's Director before after having worked so long. It puzzled her even more as the days grew and the Director's office was always vacant, except for the occasional visits by the secretary who would leave stacks of documents for him to review and sign.

As her curiosity grew, she became adamant to know who the boss was and how he was like. He seemed to be shy and prefer working when everyone else had gone off for the day. He would leave behind new work instructions on the the desks of those whom he wanted to do anything for him the next day. So, she hatched a plan to try to catch that glimpse of the Director one evening by pretending to go to the ladies and hide there until everyone had gone back. Then she would emerge from hiding and sneak back into the office.

"Just a peek would do. No need for contact!" She reminded herself, as excitement welled up within her and she could feel her heart thumping so hard she became suddenly became afraid that it could be heard. Instinctively, she quickly pressed her hand over her chest.

What A World It Would Be (Joseph, Story of a Dreamer)

Everytime I see a smiling face,
I wish it'd rub off and set a pace
To chase the world around
That hate could not be found
And left no trace ...
Everything in harmony, what a world it would be.

I wish the entire human race
Each day would feel a tender warm embrace
Have shoes up on their feet
And have enough to eat
Live happily
If only man and woman were free
What a world it would be.

(bridge)
If everybody had a mutual goal
One language and one destiny
If every man had peace within his soul
The way it was meant to be

There's a hope that dwells within my mind
That each and everyone of us could find
A place without despair
If only we would dare
Sometimes, somewhere
If all of us could find the key
What a world it would be

(bridge)
I know that in my heart
I feel as if a part of me can see
A world in perfect harmony
What a world it would be

A better place for you and me
What a world it will be
What a world it will be

Seasons of a man

I am the Springtime, when everyday seems so fine.
Whether rain or sunshine, you will find me playing.
Days full of pretending and a dime is a lot to be spending.
It' is when life is just beginning.
I am the Springtime.

I am the Summer, when the days are warmer.
(I forgot the lyrics....)
Girls are of full mystery when you are barely passing history.
(forgot the lyrics....)
I am the Summer.

I am the Autumn days. The days are getting longer.
Looking back, I stand amazed. O' time has passed so quickly.
Love, is more than feeling. It's fixing bikes and painting ceiling.
It's when you feel a cold wind coming... I am the autumn days.

I am the Winter. The days are cold and bitter.
And the days I remember number more than the days to come.
You ride, instead of walking and you barely hear them talking.
And goodbyes are said so often. I am the winter.
.....
But when I shall see them again in Heaven
It will last forever.

Opayasom is basically about choices one makes: be it choosing your teams or just choosing a particular colour of your tie that you think will make you a professional. As life gets longer, the thinking processes tend to get more complicated. Too many alternatives? Sometimes, I feel it could have just been a matter of getting better acquainted with ourselves, and knowing our own likes, dislikes; our true inclinations and future decisions that we will make, subsequent to the next one; and also knowing how likely we will be committed to these after the decisions have been made.

I could have made most of my decisions in a split second each time and yet not know them. For instance, have you tried standing in front of the fridge one day and ask yourself, 'Am I hungry?' Sometimes we may also linger a bit longer just to go around in circles. If I am not wrong, the commoner reason for the fridge opening is probably out of sport, and not hunger.

Many do choose instinctively too, but while they hope to make good choices, they do not count the costs. These are like buying on impulse, and hopefully not when building a relationship or a career. Just like my opening the fridge door when I wasn't really hungry, it became evident when you see them changing their minds - depending on whatever else would reveal themselves when the door is opened. True intentions, or new intentions, there is really nothing wrong in having to finetune our decisions once more options start to present themselves. Life is like this; a journey that lets you discover new opportunities. But I am disappointed by those who lie about their true intentions.

It is evident that those fair-weather friends tend to be more fickle than someone who will stand by you through thick and thin. But we can't blame them, really, if you had allowed yourself to be used. There've been circumstances so far. Unfortunately, it has taken me donkey years to learn to tell if I get sported. Normally, by the time I feel so, I will just thank God we are not yet business partners.

I do have a phobia which is about being retired old and lonely, or, becoming old and hungry.
Some friends may stay and come visit me. Once I hit the autumn of my life, I wish I will know whose hands will be holding mine. If that question has quickly passed through your head just now, you should already know if those hands are going to be yours. Hey, I will still be thankful.

There was this little documentary I saw on Animal Planet (I think). The life of the piranhas. The seaons come and go along the Amazon river and its tributaries. You see, the birds eat the little piranhas. And the bigger pirahnas eat the birds if they fall into their realm. Ouch! The water would quickly turn into a little whirlpool of red while fishes were snapping on various parts of the bird - alive- in their feeding frenzy. Such hunger, or anger or revenge, I don't know. I was wondering what would kill these fishes then.... Soon the sky gets drier and the dust fill the air... Smallest tributaries quickly turn into small puddles with fishes gasping for air. That's the fate of it all. Fishes that do not know the seasons as they come. So it is, my friend, I gather that life in this urban society we live and work in is about the same. Jobs created now may probably not last the next few years. The internet bubble came and got busted. Many who studied IT looking to eat that pie are probably left with maintenance work, crawling under CEOs' and office workers' desks tying up cables. Likewise for student radiographers who came in with the hope of getting that hospital job even before getting that graduation papers. Times have changed. The workplace where I have been heading for a while now is also slowly drying up. It will still be there, of course. The advanced training is going to come from somewhere else where the specialists are. These experts will probably come and do a much better job at providing that service - providing high-end CT scans for emergency patients. An author has said this before, that Technology has overtaken the Expert. Put in another way, if the government decide to swap all the F14s to Stealth one day, only those who have been trained to fly stealth will get the jobs. So what if you have been trained to fly the F14s? Training and upgrading of skills is definitely such an important issue now in my industry. If you do not train up, be prepared to be trained by your student. I can safely bet that in these days, even managers, supervisors, and lecturers will have become out of touch with the technologies they have to buy for their department. They have to become increasingy dependent on the true experts - those who work the machines on the ground day and night - to provide the services. Meaning, who is less dispensable now? There is a season for everything under the sun. All is but vanity, and a chasing after the wind. Move on, and find your river that will never dry up.

I met up with 2 old pals finally. Interestingly, we all share the same surname!
I do not know if they have noticed it but definitely, the life and work experiences we've had are different. One used to be a deputy COO at a local VWO. Cool (and handsome) guy! The other is in some manufacturing line - producing masks for the impending birdflu! For one thing, we are still related because of the healthcare industry. I somehow feel that their future looks brighter than mine. Afterall, mine is just walking up and down a small corridor trying to justify my existence. Wonder when my head will finally roll off! Anyway....

I am very happy to have met up with them this evening because there was so much to learn. Full of interesting bits here and there and one learns what's happening in the real (and sometimes, cruel) world. Both were telling me about their bosses and ex-bosses and bosses' bosses, etc... Plus all the good old days when SGH was still considered civil service. But those times when, if compared to what we are having in a modern civilisation, were not so "civilised". Like what they said, "when the police were still in their shorts" and 1 bowl of prawn noodles would only cost 10 cents." But I realise, modernisation brings complications!

Hmm.. maybe I should be penning more about childhood days. By the way, I am a rather sentimental and nostalgic person. I always tend to recall - les I forget. Because I am so afraid I may forget. But when I remember, there's so much to recall. Used to kill cockcroaches, rabbits, fishes, ants, lizards, houseflies and mosquitoes ... and cats. I'm probably No.1 on their wanted list. Although I think they couldn't hurt me and my science teacher would have been happy about my zeal during biology class, I now live with regret. Sometimes I wish I could be a vegan, but unfortunately, I have already been too deeply cursed with a love for steak, sambal prawns and chilli crabs! Sedap!

Back to these Tans! The ex-COO is now GM at a company dealing with healthcare workers' skills training and certification courses. We chatted at McCafe and there, it dawned on me that again, I am stuck doing what I have been doing for the past donkey years. While my friend may be wondering how he and gal would patch back, I think the future in my occupation may actually affect how things will affect my family. For their sake, I will toil on and work the best I can. But deep inside, I don't think I am happy now. I love clinical work but managing well will also allow more people and patients to benefit at one time. For selfish reasons, I would rather just work and go home and mind my own business. Why should I be made to answer for someone else's problem???? They call it "ownership". Yea, and when that fails, they ask "you are AM for what?" I wish life were simpler. Back to the good old days when one could just eat fresh fruits from fruit trees!

Oh Adam!! Why you listened to EVE!!!!