(I think)
This is about a guy who tries to help his girl recall her memory of him after she has lost her memory.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Beyond - 真的愛妳
無法可修飾的一對手 帶出溫暖永遠在背後
縱使囉囌始終關注 不動珍惜太內咎
沉醉於音階她不讚賞 母親的愛卻永未退讓
決心衝開心中掙扎 親恩終可報答
春風化雨暖透我的心 一生眷顧無言地送贈
是妳多麼溫馨的目光 教我堅毅望著前路
叮嚀我跌倒不應放棄
沒法解釋怎可報盡親恩 愛意寬大是無限
請準我說聲真的愛妳
仍記起溫馨的一對手 始終給我照顧未變樣
理想今天終於等到 分享光輝盼做到
Thursday, June 03, 2010
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Cats In The Cradle and Silver Spoon
A child arrived the other day,
He came to the world in the usual way.
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay,
He learned to walk while I was away,
And he was talking 'fore I knew it.
And as he grew he'd say, "I'm gonna be like you dad,
You know I'm gonna be like you."
Chorus:
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon.
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
When you coming home dad? "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then,
You know we'll have a good time then."
My son turned ten just the other day,
He said, "Thanks for the ball come on let's play,
Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,
I got a lot to do." He said, "That's okay."
He walked away but his smile never dimmed,
He said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah, you know I'm gonna be like him."
Chorus
Well he came from college just the other day,
So much like a man I just had to say,
"Son I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while."
He shook his head and then he said with a smile,
"What I'd really like dad is to borrow the car keys,
See you later can I have them please."
2nd Chorus:
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon.
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
When you coming home son? "I don't know when,
But we'll have a good time then dad,
You know we'll have a good time then."
I've long since retired my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day,
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to dad if I could find the time,
You see my new job's a hassle and the kids have the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you dad,
It's been sure nice talking to you."
Bridge:
And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me, my boy was just like me
He came to the world in the usual way.
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay,
He learned to walk while I was away,
And he was talking 'fore I knew it.
And as he grew he'd say, "I'm gonna be like you dad,
You know I'm gonna be like you."
Chorus:
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon.
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
When you coming home dad? "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then,
You know we'll have a good time then."
My son turned ten just the other day,
He said, "Thanks for the ball come on let's play,
Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,
I got a lot to do." He said, "That's okay."
He walked away but his smile never dimmed,
He said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah, you know I'm gonna be like him."
Chorus
Well he came from college just the other day,
So much like a man I just had to say,
"Son I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while."
He shook his head and then he said with a smile,
"What I'd really like dad is to borrow the car keys,
See you later can I have them please."
2nd Chorus:
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon.
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
When you coming home son? "I don't know when,
But we'll have a good time then dad,
You know we'll have a good time then."
I've long since retired my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day,
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to dad if I could find the time,
You see my new job's a hassle and the kids have the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you dad,
It's been sure nice talking to you."
Bridge:
And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me, my boy was just like me
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Monday, December 14, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
31Aug2009
Just came back from HCMC not too long ago. Today's flight seemed to take a while longer. Even the queue at the check-in counter at TSN Airport was really crawling.... or have I become more impatient lately?
Sometimes, our internal environment affects our attitudes towards our external environment. How then do I manage my own response towards my internal environment such that I can in a way, also manage the way I respond towards my external environment?
Anyway, had planned on reinstalling my PC today but it seems rather late now. Will have to postpone till Friday. Need to learn from Jimmy how he does his CI setup :)
Sometimes, our internal environment affects our attitudes towards our external environment. How then do I manage my own response towards my internal environment such that I can in a way, also manage the way I respond towards my external environment?
Anyway, had planned on reinstalling my PC today but it seems rather late now. Will have to postpone till Friday. Need to learn from Jimmy how he does his CI setup :)
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
It is well
There are times when I would feel down and disheartened by my world becomes so entangled by those complicated human turmoils and conflicts, I could only look to God for a word, or even a simple nod, that He is there, and He still cares.
Ahh ... it is well ... with my soul.
Ahh ... it is well ... with my soul.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
extracted this from an article recently.
How to avoid being one of the most annoying coworkers
- The Limelight Hog. According to this attention hunter, (s)he is the only person who matters and is constantly trying to take full credit for collaborative efforts and make an impact on upper management. There has never been a good idea this person hasn’t tried to claim.
The better route: Instead of working to alienate others, triumph by being a team player. Be sure to thank everyone who helped you when receiving praise.
- The Wet Blanket. No idea has ever escaped criticism by this objector. Brainstorming sessions, where all ideas are to be contemplated with an open mind, are just a larger forum to immediately scoff at any proposal that challenging the conventional.
The better route: Hold back comments and conclusions, until suitable, as diverse opinions are a great way to find solutions and when delivering criticism or alternative views, be respectful and constructive.
- The Obsessive Emailer. This “reply all” obsessed worker chokes colleagues' already-overflowing inboxes with superfluous messages, marking even the most pointless missives as "high priority" with huge attachments that crash the unsuspecting addressees’ computers.
The better route: As many exchanges are better suited for quick phone calls or in-person discussions, email should not be used as your default mode of communication. Besides, if you send fewer emails, the less you're likely to receive.
- The Catchphrase Speaker. (S)he will forgo intelligibility to exhibit clichéd business terms and his/her expansive vocabulary. Jumbling messages is this unproductive talker’s trademark .
The better route: Stick to direct, concrete statements and focus on being clear and diminishing confusion. Rephrase what you’re saying plainly if you get the impression your message is not getting through.
- The Barger. When not entering your work space to appeal for immediate help, the Barger is noisily typing on a laptop, on a mobile phone, or introducing off-topic side conversations.
The better route: Contending demands and unyielding deadlines shouldn’t trump basic civility so watch your manners so you can build healthy work relationships.
- The surrogate boss. This is from my personal collection. Like (1) above, this person whom I have encountered shares a similar need for attention/approval and the tendency to discuss issues at lengths or call for meetings, whether with external parties, supporting vendors or subordinates.
The better route: Understand your own deepest needs and desire can help you curb the urge to dominate over meetings, or discussions. Pride and insecurity might be undelying factors too, that might one day become your own undoing. If pride tends to come in the way, hubris may lead to foolhardiness. So, I would advocate that you avoid positions of power/fame if you cannot handle the limelight. So something else meaningful.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Life's quotes from Way of the Peaceful Warrior
Life is a mystery.
Don't bother to understand it, because you never will. Live it.
Humour. Always have fun with yourself. Do not take yourself too seriously.
Change. Change is the only constant in this world. You can do nothing to change the past, and the future will never come exactly as you plan or hope for.
A warrior does not give up what he loves, he finds the love in what he does.
The world is not about perfection, or invulnerability....
Don't bother to understand it, because you never will. Live it.
Humour. Always have fun with yourself. Do not take yourself too seriously.
Change. Change is the only constant in this world. You can do nothing to change the past, and the future will never come exactly as you plan or hope for.
A warrior does not give up what he loves, he finds the love in what he does.
The world is not about perfection, or invulnerability....
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Lifetime Leadership Skills
Leadership Resilience – Winning in Challenging Times (www.itdworld.com)
“The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do”. According to researchers, normally a person’s life will go through at least two recessions and one economic crisis. Recession, crisis, difficulties … these are all unexpected and inevitable. However, going through these difficult times, seizing the opportunity to shine, and achieving greater success, is the most challenging for any leader.
Defining Your Moments
History has proven, every crisis is a defining moment. As the leader, the choice you make, makes you. In any major crisis throughout this century, many leaders have failed when leading their organization. For example, Richard Fuld, CEO of Lehman Brothers, one of the 5 biggest banks in USA, went bankrupted in 2008. And this drove the economy to the bottom. However, there are other leaders who can lead their organization through challenging times and climb to the top with unimagined success.
Before Steve Jobs took over Apple Inc., it was on the edge of falling apart because there was no clear direction. Under Steve Jobs, Apple became one of the most influential companies in the personal computer and consumer electronic markets. He succeeded because he was not afraid to make changes to adapt to new environment. Most importantly, he learned from other successful leaders and drew from his own experiences.
“The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do”. According to researchers, normally a person’s life will go through at least two recessions and one economic crisis. Recession, crisis, difficulties … these are all unexpected and inevitable. However, going through these difficult times, seizing the opportunity to shine, and achieving greater success, is the most challenging for any leader.
Defining Your Moments
History has proven, every crisis is a defining moment. As the leader, the choice you make, makes you. In any major crisis throughout this century, many leaders have failed when leading their organization. For example, Richard Fuld, CEO of Lehman Brothers, one of the 5 biggest banks in USA, went bankrupted in 2008. And this drove the economy to the bottom. However, there are other leaders who can lead their organization through challenging times and climb to the top with unimagined success.
Before Steve Jobs took over Apple Inc., it was on the edge of falling apart because there was no clear direction. Under Steve Jobs, Apple became one of the most influential companies in the personal computer and consumer electronic markets. He succeeded because he was not afraid to make changes to adapt to new environment. Most importantly, he learned from other successful leaders and drew from his own experiences.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
James 3
Rule with your heart; but don't let let your heart rule over you.
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James 3 (New International Version)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
James 3 (New International Version)
Two Kinds of Wisdom
13Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. 16For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.17But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.
1 Peter 5:2
2Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; 3not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.
2Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; 3not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Employment
Someone tried to tell me what my roles and responsibilities are. And cc-ed the email to my boss.
I am not sure why all the fuss and aggression came about.
An AM's role doesn't lie in forming committees and running them. The AM's duty is not just to plan a roster and let people come back him to let them have such and such a duty.
I only believe what my mentor had told me: that the AM's role is a sacred one. And we believe all authorities on earth have been "allowed' from heaven. But each has a certain purpose. Getting any further than this is definitely confusing, under the section: Knowing the will of God.
Anyway, my friend told me that my role is simple: I only need to ensure that patients' needs and expectations are met, through the hearts and minds of the staff coming together to fulfill this one purpose. But I see some coming together to work to see how much benefit they can get out of joining my hospital. As compared to other hospitals. These create some additional problems for us to manage.
Why ask what the department can do for you? When you have first applied to work here, you have never fully justified why the department should continue to spoon-feed you. Have you asked yourself what you could do for department instead?
I am not sure why all the fuss and aggression came about.
An AM's role doesn't lie in forming committees and running them. The AM's duty is not just to plan a roster and let people come back him to let them have such and such a duty.
I only believe what my mentor had told me: that the AM's role is a sacred one. And we believe all authorities on earth have been "allowed' from heaven. But each has a certain purpose. Getting any further than this is definitely confusing, under the section: Knowing the will of God.
Anyway, my friend told me that my role is simple: I only need to ensure that patients' needs and expectations are met, through the hearts and minds of the staff coming together to fulfill this one purpose. But I see some coming together to work to see how much benefit they can get out of joining my hospital. As compared to other hospitals. These create some additional problems for us to manage.
Why ask what the department can do for you? When you have first applied to work here, you have never fully justified why the department should continue to spoon-feed you. Have you asked yourself what you could do for department instead?
Sunday, April 19, 2009
This seems to be kind of standard...
That there should only be 1 leader in a pack?
That's the Packs model. It has either an alpha-male (wolves, Chimps) or a matriach (Hyenas, Elephants?). It works pretty well among the wolves and chimps. Just like the way Animal Planet paints it. But in human organisations too, I think it is like the 'expected', or the norm, to snarl, growl, or howl ... and let folks know you're the lead and they are the pack.
Humanly, when someone is first placed into a position of power, he has the tendency to prepare himself mentally to take the blame for anything that has happened, or he may blame his predecessors for the blames he thinks he has to shoulder. On the other hand, you may be different. The type that can't wait for that piece of the action where you can quickly go test out your newly endowed "prowess".
In my dept, I think power seems to lie in the one managing a piece of paper called the "ROSTER". When I was first posted to B1L2, I actually wasn't keen because just a month before that, I had just verbalised my intention to resign to my immediate supervisor. I always have this feeling that I should have been running a little self-operated cafe somewhere along a street in Ho Chi Minh City. (Don't mind even if it is in Australia, or Vienna!)
I had actually gotten a new place of work subsequent to that early notification. But I guess no one was really listening. The other hospital had been very good as to accept me even though I was still tagged with a bond-balance of 6mths.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Anyway, life has spun a couple more rounds as usual since that day and I am still here in this hospital. But after running a 24/7 place for 6 years, I am now working at a single-shift place. The pace is faster here I guess. But I kinda don't mind this kind of excitement becos time pass very fast. There seems to be a certain kind of routines that a supervisor needs to perform on a daily basis. But managing a place that consists of a few smaller communities seems to be give the one running the "Roster" a certain sense of power. Somehow, I always feel that Roster isn't everything there is in exerting power. My friend had advised me to guard the roster becos of invested powers within that role.
I had worked at a hotel before, under a kitchen portering supervisor. He planned the roster and not only dictated what I had to on a hour-by-hour basis, but he also decided which resturant I was supposed to be attached to for the entire 3 months I was supposed to be there. If I had stayed on, I might have been stuck there for good. His office was rather dark, and cramped. He did not seem happy. I assumed turnover was high. His boss called him once in a while to give new instructions for the day/week. In turn, he assigned us duties on the fly. Like, go polish the rail-guides; go collect 2000 pieces of china spoon from the store. Go collect some brocoli. "Tonight want to do OT or not? As waiter ... Then go housekeeping collect your uniforms!" Hey, power hor?
Anyway, time passed so quickly. I am no more the pre-NS boy who worked at that hotel. Until recently, almost every year, I would go back and take a peep and see how they are doing. Last time I used to look forward to going back to work everyday. I stayed on in the resturant with the aunties who washed plates and cups. Cut fish, cut veg, crabs, prepare chilli etc. People thought I was lonely! But I enjoyed life then. I signed up as permanent (becos I hated school) butboth my sup, the banquet captain, and the Sous-de-Chef were against it and spent some time getting rid of me. I am thankful they did. They seemed to be beating round the bushes back then but now as I recall, they were pointing at the same thing. The captain has a son. His son studied ITE and he also did not encourage his son to work in the hotel industry. So likewise, he wanted me to continue with my studies. The Sous-de-Chef told me that he has another applicant. Late 40s and currently working at the same kitchen as I was. Boy, I disliked that lazy-bum. That man with a squarish koyok perpectually over one side of his temples. Sometimes both sides! He was suffering from migraine and he has been asking for a transfer. So, I being the younger one should not fight with him over the post. That was a blow to me then. I thought the SDC liked me. I cut fish skilfully, and did well and above my job. I was just a kitchen porter, but I was already performing both the duties of a commis-cook as well as a dishwasher. He told me his intention to accept that good-4-nothing and asked me not to apply to become permanent because he would definitely reject me. Anyway ... the sup did not say anything. He seemed ok if I joined and he would just roster me anyway! Basically, he had no career plans for me. Only my duties to assign to me. Or maybe one day, if I do well, I may be posted to work among those banquet porters serving VIP guests and polish their ash-trays? The AM was a cute guy. I liked him a lot. He interviewed me and got me the job. But that was not the reason why I liked him. I actually bumped into him on the bus, without his tie. When I finally cleared the maze and got into hotel admin office, I recognised him while he was just putting on his tie and sitting behind that desk called "Assistant Manager". Quite a big post that time, becos as far I was concerned, he weld the power to decide whether I could bring home the money to show my mum that I could finally earn money. I met him a 3rd time finally, and that was the exit interview. I did not know why need to have so many regulations and procedures. Resign means resign la, still talk so much for what. Anyway, thought no harm meeting him again and say good bye, thanks for giving me the job and 3 months of fun (got shit too). He asked me to reconsider and he could transfer me to another department if I wanted to. Apparently he had heard how I was bullied. But by then, I had already decided I should leave becos Kok Meng also not staying on, so no point. hehe... (youngsters map their flight plans very differently!!) In the end, that was my first official handshake with an AM in a big hotel. An AM actually shook hands with me. The one with the tie. I was just a playful bum in a smelly grey mandarin-collared shirt (and brown pants) at that time. Lsat minute just afew days before my last day of work at the hotel, I was told to go to the hotel admin office to meet the AM. I hurried there but got lost along the way because we were only allowed to use the back lift and I forgot how I got brought down the lift from the office a few months ago. BTW, didn't mention that we tend to smell because part of our jobs was to clear the rubbish from the kitchen 2 times a day. Kitchen wastes smell worse than those collected from the resturants ok? We collected a lot of dead carcasses like fish, prawns and crabs. U can imagine.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A few years ago, my society had this big dinner. It was to be hosted at that particular hotel. I went abit early and was quite a pleasant surprise, I met the banquet captain who was addressing his crew. He recognised me tho I had fattened up a bit and introduced me to his crew. He told me the ones who got promoted to this and that and who subsequently got fired... etc etc. The chef was still around, but the aunties and thai chefs had all disappeared, except one. So, Power I realised, was transient. I was grateful to the captain for having talked to me like his son. He understood how I felt at that time when it was really confusing why everybody seemed to disregard what I thought was good work and rejected my application to continue with them. I was glad I went back and met him. He was happy as it affirmed what he did for me was the right thing to do. His son had graduated and started working elsewhere too. The mysterious cute girl (daughter of the F&B director) had never returned to the swimming pool too on Sundays. hehe. As I walked away while he continued briefing his crew, I overheard him telling them to study hard and work hard. "If you want to stay on and remain as waiters and waitresses all your life .... " Not sure if this is the right thing to motivate your staff tho, but looking back, I am thankful to him and also the Sous-de-Chef. The SDC is the highest level of authority where the kitchens are concerned. That hotel has a few kitchens, from Chinese, Thai, Western and staff. He planned all the menu! All the cooks kowtow to him and whenever he entered the kitchen, everyone was super behaving. I believed he retired liao, that time when I returned.
Power is really a transient thing. One year you can have it, the next year it is gone. I feel that real power lies in the power to influence and change lives, the lives of the staff who work under you. Which makes it seem like rostering can do the same for the staff who work in the department. I think roster is but a tool. It merely deploys. The men who rejected my application changed my life more than the one who could change my roster to suit how I wanted to live my life.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Somehow I really resent facing confrontational folks. ANYWHERE. But in this dept, some people just have the knack for being that painful zit on the butt .. It seems they prefer many things their way and confront their supervisors. My friend told me that this could have been because of my personality as well. I hate confrontation, and so this tendency to give in. Maybe I have been "overly-friendly". "It's too inviting lah." "See, when you are too friendly with the staff, they will surely climb over your head one!"
There had been times when my authority was challenged openly in front of the rest. "You better really put your foot down and don't take this kind of nonsense."
There seems to be a certain pecking order in most places. Sometimes, the one who runs the roster is at the top of the pecking order. Anyone could lead like the alpha-male or matriach as much as he/she likes and dictates you do this or you do that. Just because your staff give that respect to your calls and hoots.
You can do all that in church too, and among all the youth groups. Surely, there will be people who admire you and people who will follow you. But to me, all these super-abilities that the leaders seem to have will only work by the grace of the people who will let you lead.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I am keen to relinquish my post. I wish I could retire soon to pursue my dreams. But I still need to find the one who knows how to temper power with grace.
If we are not careful, we might all get more embroiled in bitter politickings one day.
That there should only be 1 leader in a pack?
That's the Packs model. It has either an alpha-male (wolves, Chimps) or a matriach (Hyenas, Elephants?). It works pretty well among the wolves and chimps. Just like the way Animal Planet paints it. But in human organisations too, I think it is like the 'expected', or the norm, to snarl, growl, or howl ... and let folks know you're the lead and they are the pack.
Humanly, when someone is first placed into a position of power, he has the tendency to prepare himself mentally to take the blame for anything that has happened, or he may blame his predecessors for the blames he thinks he has to shoulder. On the other hand, you may be different. The type that can't wait for that piece of the action where you can quickly go test out your newly endowed "prowess".
In my dept, I think power seems to lie in the one managing a piece of paper called the "ROSTER". When I was first posted to B1L2, I actually wasn't keen because just a month before that, I had just verbalised my intention to resign to my immediate supervisor. I always have this feeling that I should have been running a little self-operated cafe somewhere along a street in Ho Chi Minh City. (Don't mind even if it is in Australia, or Vienna!)
I had actually gotten a new place of work subsequent to that early notification. But I guess no one was really listening. The other hospital had been very good as to accept me even though I was still tagged with a bond-balance of 6mths.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Anyway, life has spun a couple more rounds as usual since that day and I am still here in this hospital. But after running a 24/7 place for 6 years, I am now working at a single-shift place. The pace is faster here I guess. But I kinda don't mind this kind of excitement becos time pass very fast. There seems to be a certain kind of routines that a supervisor needs to perform on a daily basis. But managing a place that consists of a few smaller communities seems to be give the one running the "Roster" a certain sense of power. Somehow, I always feel that Roster isn't everything there is in exerting power. My friend had advised me to guard the roster becos of invested powers within that role.
I had worked at a hotel before, under a kitchen portering supervisor. He planned the roster and not only dictated what I had to on a hour-by-hour basis, but he also decided which resturant I was supposed to be attached to for the entire 3 months I was supposed to be there. If I had stayed on, I might have been stuck there for good. His office was rather dark, and cramped. He did not seem happy. I assumed turnover was high. His boss called him once in a while to give new instructions for the day/week. In turn, he assigned us duties on the fly. Like, go polish the rail-guides; go collect 2000 pieces of china spoon from the store. Go collect some brocoli. "Tonight want to do OT or not? As waiter ... Then go housekeeping collect your uniforms!" Hey, power hor?
Anyway, time passed so quickly. I am no more the pre-NS boy who worked at that hotel. Until recently, almost every year, I would go back and take a peep and see how they are doing. Last time I used to look forward to going back to work everyday. I stayed on in the resturant with the aunties who washed plates and cups. Cut fish, cut veg, crabs, prepare chilli etc. People thought I was lonely! But I enjoyed life then. I signed up as permanent (becos I hated school) butboth my sup, the banquet captain, and the Sous-de-Chef were against it and spent some time getting rid of me. I am thankful they did. They seemed to be beating round the bushes back then but now as I recall, they were pointing at the same thing. The captain has a son. His son studied ITE and he also did not encourage his son to work in the hotel industry. So likewise, he wanted me to continue with my studies. The Sous-de-Chef told me that he has another applicant. Late 40s and currently working at the same kitchen as I was. Boy, I disliked that lazy-bum. That man with a squarish koyok perpectually over one side of his temples. Sometimes both sides! He was suffering from migraine and he has been asking for a transfer. So, I being the younger one should not fight with him over the post. That was a blow to me then. I thought the SDC liked me. I cut fish skilfully, and did well and above my job. I was just a kitchen porter, but I was already performing both the duties of a commis-cook as well as a dishwasher. He told me his intention to accept that good-4-nothing and asked me not to apply to become permanent because he would definitely reject me. Anyway ... the sup did not say anything. He seemed ok if I joined and he would just roster me anyway! Basically, he had no career plans for me. Only my duties to assign to me. Or maybe one day, if I do well, I may be posted to work among those banquet porters serving VIP guests and polish their ash-trays? The AM was a cute guy. I liked him a lot. He interviewed me and got me the job. But that was not the reason why I liked him. I actually bumped into him on the bus, without his tie. When I finally cleared the maze and got into hotel admin office, I recognised him while he was just putting on his tie and sitting behind that desk called "Assistant Manager". Quite a big post that time, becos as far I was concerned, he weld the power to decide whether I could bring home the money to show my mum that I could finally earn money. I met him a 3rd time finally, and that was the exit interview. I did not know why need to have so many regulations and procedures. Resign means resign la, still talk so much for what. Anyway, thought no harm meeting him again and say good bye, thanks for giving me the job and 3 months of fun (got shit too). He asked me to reconsider and he could transfer me to another department if I wanted to. Apparently he had heard how I was bullied. But by then, I had already decided I should leave becos Kok Meng also not staying on, so no point. hehe... (youngsters map their flight plans very differently!!) In the end, that was my first official handshake with an AM in a big hotel. An AM actually shook hands with me. The one with the tie. I was just a playful bum in a smelly grey mandarin-collared shirt (and brown pants) at that time. Lsat minute just afew days before my last day of work at the hotel, I was told to go to the hotel admin office to meet the AM. I hurried there but got lost along the way because we were only allowed to use the back lift and I forgot how I got brought down the lift from the office a few months ago. BTW, didn't mention that we tend to smell because part of our jobs was to clear the rubbish from the kitchen 2 times a day. Kitchen wastes smell worse than those collected from the resturants ok? We collected a lot of dead carcasses like fish, prawns and crabs. U can imagine.
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A few years ago, my society had this big dinner. It was to be hosted at that particular hotel. I went abit early and was quite a pleasant surprise, I met the banquet captain who was addressing his crew. He recognised me tho I had fattened up a bit and introduced me to his crew. He told me the ones who got promoted to this and that and who subsequently got fired... etc etc. The chef was still around, but the aunties and thai chefs had all disappeared, except one. So, Power I realised, was transient. I was grateful to the captain for having talked to me like his son. He understood how I felt at that time when it was really confusing why everybody seemed to disregard what I thought was good work and rejected my application to continue with them. I was glad I went back and met him. He was happy as it affirmed what he did for me was the right thing to do. His son had graduated and started working elsewhere too. The mysterious cute girl (daughter of the F&B director) had never returned to the swimming pool too on Sundays. hehe. As I walked away while he continued briefing his crew, I overheard him telling them to study hard and work hard. "If you want to stay on and remain as waiters and waitresses all your life .... " Not sure if this is the right thing to motivate your staff tho, but looking back, I am thankful to him and also the Sous-de-Chef. The SDC is the highest level of authority where the kitchens are concerned. That hotel has a few kitchens, from Chinese, Thai, Western and staff. He planned all the menu! All the cooks kowtow to him and whenever he entered the kitchen, everyone was super behaving. I believed he retired liao, that time when I returned.
Power is really a transient thing. One year you can have it, the next year it is gone. I feel that real power lies in the power to influence and change lives, the lives of the staff who work under you. Which makes it seem like rostering can do the same for the staff who work in the department. I think roster is but a tool. It merely deploys. The men who rejected my application changed my life more than the one who could change my roster to suit how I wanted to live my life.
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Somehow I really resent facing confrontational folks. ANYWHERE. But in this dept, some people just have the knack for being that painful zit on the butt .. It seems they prefer many things their way and confront their supervisors. My friend told me that this could have been because of my personality as well. I hate confrontation, and so this tendency to give in. Maybe I have been "overly-friendly". "It's too inviting lah." "See, when you are too friendly with the staff, they will surely climb over your head one!"
There had been times when my authority was challenged openly in front of the rest. "You better really put your foot down and don't take this kind of nonsense."
There seems to be a certain pecking order in most places. Sometimes, the one who runs the roster is at the top of the pecking order. Anyone could lead like the alpha-male or matriach as much as he/she likes and dictates you do this or you do that. Just because your staff give that respect to your calls and hoots.
You can do all that in church too, and among all the youth groups. Surely, there will be people who admire you and people who will follow you. But to me, all these super-abilities that the leaders seem to have will only work by the grace of the people who will let you lead.
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I am keen to relinquish my post. I wish I could retire soon to pursue my dreams. But I still need to find the one who knows how to temper power with grace.
If we are not careful, we might all get more embroiled in bitter politickings one day.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Super (Boring) Long Weekend
Sometimes wonder if I have been chasing my tail again. The thoughts in my mind have been spinning round and round. I would really want to be a retail owner.
Anyway, life has been good. But I know it will not last forever. A long weekend has been wasted. I have still many plans to be implemented. Half yet completed tho already started. And I am still spinning around in my head what to do with my future... hihi.
Sometimes, life is an endless puzzle except that finished or not, no one can tell when the time's up to hand in your piece of work or masterpiece.
Anyway, life has been good. But I know it will not last forever. A long weekend has been wasted. I have still many plans to be implemented. Half yet completed tho already started. And I am still spinning around in my head what to do with my future... hihi.
Sometimes, life is an endless puzzle except that finished or not, no one can tell when the time's up to hand in your piece of work or masterpiece.
Friday, April 10, 2009
More choices
Hi, it has been a rather boring afternoon again. Tony came to show me some pictures of his friends. Chatted with Vu, Van and Hanh too as they came online for a moment.
Then let him used my pc to surf and check out air-tickets prices as he chatted with Yen.
While I watched some TV... Slept whole afternoon while mum and sis all went to TM.
Sounds like a pretty boring PH afternoon. Some might be waiting for the Good Friday concerts at church. I just felt very tired... whole week running about in the day, and reading emails and having meetings in the evening. Worked till between 9-10 pm almost everyday. Tuesday was best: 8.30pm. But still, went home finished some minutes taken from previous meetings.
Not sure whether I will be able to adapt to this habit of minutes, meetings, followed by more meetings and then minutes... After a particular meeting which I had, I came back and reported to one of my sup and asked if I could update her. Was told to email to her the details .... but, minutes will come later. Or, was it because she does not trust what I had wanted to update her and fear that I might mislead her with misinformation? Not sure what was the reason.... but anyway, I fully understand. That's management.
Not sure if I should be continuing in management line tho... I am more suited to small retail-like kind of business. Not complicated and huge multi-departmental corporations ... I don't like politics, whether they are white or in any kind of shades .... I just don't feel I could get used to it. Though the stings have left... I will never know whether history will recur. There are choices one makes of course. But certain choices, you can't decide whether your choice had already been pre-determined for you.
Then let him used my pc to surf and check out air-tickets prices as he chatted with Yen.
While I watched some TV... Slept whole afternoon while mum and sis all went to TM.
Sounds like a pretty boring PH afternoon. Some might be waiting for the Good Friday concerts at church. I just felt very tired... whole week running about in the day, and reading emails and having meetings in the evening. Worked till between 9-10 pm almost everyday. Tuesday was best: 8.30pm. But still, went home finished some minutes taken from previous meetings.
Not sure whether I will be able to adapt to this habit of minutes, meetings, followed by more meetings and then minutes... After a particular meeting which I had, I came back and reported to one of my sup and asked if I could update her. Was told to email to her the details .... but, minutes will come later. Or, was it because she does not trust what I had wanted to update her and fear that I might mislead her with misinformation? Not sure what was the reason.... but anyway, I fully understand. That's management.
Not sure if I should be continuing in management line tho... I am more suited to small retail-like kind of business. Not complicated and huge multi-departmental corporations ... I don't like politics, whether they are white or in any kind of shades .... I just don't feel I could get used to it. Though the stings have left... I will never know whether history will recur. There are choices one makes of course. But certain choices, you can't decide whether your choice had already been pre-determined for you.
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