Madness

Normally I'd ask for opinions, just in case I am wrong. But this one, I still believe I am right.

I have always believe that inside everyone of us, there is this certain form of "madness". Or certain degree of "madness", if you would allow me to rephrase it. I believe that if we could consider the term carefully, all of us has this little hidden "weakness", or "fetish", or "taboo", or rather "predictable inclination", if you like.

Some people harbour a deep-seeded need for attention, for compliments, or some form of recognition. Some become extremely competitive in nature and they are easily jealous whenever they see others who are successful. Others have trouble taking rejections.

If I read Carnegie's theories correctly, there are some people who have the strong need to feel accepted; they must have some people they can become a part of. But their lack of security urges them to move from cliques to cliques because of their own need to feel they belonged (somewhere).

Some people may have a strong need to have their opinions accepted, if by accepting what they say could be translated to mean accepting them. So you may be thinking I could possibly share this same madness to a certain extent but still, I believe you do not have to accept everything I say. This is just the "backyard"and not a "showroom".

I am just killing my time and hopefully, my stress get killed too, while waiting for something to move in 15mins' time.

Back to this topic about "madness". However you would define madness, do you think Saddam was "mad"? Would you be able to diagnose whether Hitler was mad or not just by engaging in any conversation with him? Each had contributed to many deaths. Maybe for a cause they were seriously serious about. They had achieved much. But something was seriously wrong.

Many great leaders would share some common traits. But in my personal opinion, there are also some deadly combinations of traits that could make them "dangerous". Two of which :- Power-lust and Hubris.

You can trust someone with a great responsibility or duty. But if that someone is unable to curb any secret weaknesses, you can't 100% trust that "emotional moron" with a whip. In life, you must see not just how one achieves or handles successes, but rather, how one handles failures in his or her life. That should offer a good clue as to how good a leader that person will be, someday.
Nowadays, it is not difficult to meet someone who is normally never wrong. But if ever he ever was wrong, it will be because he had been misinformed. or worse yet, "betrayed".

According to an article from Straits Times, people suffering from hubris would tend to have all the right reasons to do whatever they do. I guess anyone else suffering from that same complex would probably feel justified in purging the society from evil. Just same like equating "stalking" a sweet young thing to playing guardian angel. We humans do have to stay objective and steer from being too close to that thin line between sanity and deep emotional problem. Thankfully, some of the weird patients I know, are just suffering from a mild form of this madness. They are probably just indulging in bitching around people's businesses and carrying out character assasination in the department.

This is about a common-man's madness. You do not need to wait till you have been stalking somebody lately to know you already are.

Coffee Prince

Watched CP these past few days. Abt this guy and this tomboy.
This tomboy really look like Rachel. Anyway, interesting concepts regarding their little Cafe.
hehe... Akan Datang!!!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Anyway, there is a dreadful big event going on. But I shant dwell on it for now because tomorrow will come, as it will come.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Eversince starting on this current JOB, I have been missing so many sunsets. Each night I would go home, alone, cruising alongside the east coast. Only the moon would have known. Not sure if many people would feel the same way I am feeling. I miss the sunsets across the highway, across the eastcoast.... and especially the one just setting above Bedok Reservoir so many years ago. They have all gone now.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you have to make a mistake, make sure it is a new one each time.

Secretz Dream for Em

A sweet dream for you, em yeu. I copied this idea from a website.
How? There will be starlights.... :) Either glow in the dark, or LEDs between interlaced glass-sheets.

Ron explained David's Ice-Hole Fall Theory

Theory of David's Ice-hole Fall as explained by Ron:

A man was walking across a frozen lake one day.
Suddenly the ice cracked beneath his foot and down he fell. He quickly sunk a few metres deeper before his survival instincts kicked in and very quickly, he kicked hard.

As he kicked frantically and rose to the surface, his head bobbed against the bottom of the ice sheet and down he went again. He missed the hole through which he had fallen. This time, he struggled even harder as fear gripped him.

That moment in his life, whether he would manage to save himself, would depend not just on how hard he kicked, but rather, whether he bothered to get his bearing right.

Sense, Nonsense and No-Sense

Just realised that there are really distinct differences. Some senses are known only to the author. Some, unfortunately, are not. So the rest of us on the outside can't make sense out of it. Some common senses appear non-sensical, or are really as they are: simply nonsense. Geddit? Ahh.. what I am blabbing about? Sense, No-sense or Nonsense?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Qns: What does "Face-Time" mean? Ans: Time required to meet and talk face-to-face.

Management Consultants: "What a delight having people asking you questions and watching them copy down your answers." (Quoted)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Life is like a massive stock exchange game. Some people gamble away their lives and even the possessions of those around them. Some speculate and trade against others. They are adept at playing grapevines and political games in the companies, nevermind if they have not any portfolio in the said-companies. This is not insider-trading. I think there is a term to call such people in the world outside. There is a very thin line tho.. between people who seek personal gains at the expense of stumbling others, and people make stumbling others into a sport.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The Wisdom of Wolves: Nature's Way to Organisational Success (by Twyman Towery)

This week has been filled with very trying moments indeed. Had never seen someone so distressed and sad. Sometimes, we wonder why there are so many people suffering so much pains and so deep inside that medicine don't seem able to reach.

I also believe medication is not THE answer to our ailments. I also believe it is usually more spiritual than physical or emotional.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

To some extent, I think we are all mad. Judging by the way we have displayed our unique behavoirs and thinking patterns. If we have some unresolved issues in our hearts, they may re-surface in our latter years. Trust me.. it is better to deal with these feelings now than let it all get bottled up.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Tomorrow is another day. I am not sure whether I should allow myself to go into madness or not. But I certainly do not want to have dementia or Alzheimer. This is bad.. to lose every recollection of my time and relationships with my good friends and families. And lose sense of time and place. I will stand alone... isolated and very very alone. I feel locked in.. and although everyone is with me, I hurt everyone who loves me most. I think this is terrible for both the inflicted and the families. It is both frustrating and deeply painful. So sometimes I wonder why God still chooses to remain silent. Why let the devils utter their nonsense instead? This is the time I wish God is right beside His child. He is not going mad. Pls do not let him lose himself. What plans has God for him... I do not know. But I am really sad and drained right now. I am tired.. and also worried if I will also sink into it myself one day.

I wish this world doesn't have to drive us all like this....

Quotes shared by Elena Goh

"You must first be who you really are, then,

Do what you need to do,

In order to have what you want."

~ Margaret Young

Determination

Quoted from "Elena Goh Li Hwee" elenagoh@ippfa.com


"Where the heart is willing, it will find a thousands ways, but

where the heart is weak, it will a thousands excuses."

Loss before it is

March has begun with a very bad start. Worrisome...

I think it is bad for many people that I know. At work, at home, in Business and also in their social network. I really wonder why ... so many bad news. But I do not know how I should move ahead.

For me, there seems to be no other way out. I tend to wait. I wait for the rain to come and sit there like the buffalo for its due. "The creatures of the earth look to Thee for their meat." The path is narrow and the forest thickens as I step deeper and deeper into it. Night is approaching. The light is fading out, it seems. Now someone gave me 2 options. Though I see light at each end of the path, its the thickening vegetation that worries me. I have slowed down a lot already. Now that we have reached a fork junction, someone again asked me to make my choice - but little do they know, they had given me 2 out of 3 options. By choosing my own options, perhaps this might have been an entirely different forest altogether. Anyway ... I sworn myself to secrecy. I shall not say. Everything in life is but an imagery. Nothing is permanent. Nothing is real, but not all things are fake. It is just all humans-do-whatt-humans-do on the stage set up by God, perhaps directed by fellow humans. And God would pick up the best ones that He wants to keep. What shall I do? I will do what the road ahead asks of me.

If you ask me how I do it, I can only tell you that it could be easier if I just walk blindfolded. Chrisians call it blindfaith. Do you know why a bird stays still after a while? I know. I've seen it there. The cage was big and after a while, it grew tired. It can go as it pleases yet it can't go as it pleases. I can feel its weariness, and the energy rapidly dissipating everytime it flaps it wings. It's a real big world we are all sitting trapped in.

I see old people walking down the streets. I see others playing chess. I also see yet others splurging whatever remains in their pockets. Many should have seen what I saw. They had been there. Now they stayed. Soon, I will be playing chess like everyone else and waiting for my turn. Meanwhile, I have to move on ... nudged on. And along this path ... Hope it leads to freedom and I'd have lived another day. Thank God.

digital art - for my colleagues

Like movie huh?
This was an amatuer's first atttempt at artistic photographic work. Something I would like to embark on as part of my retyrement plan.

The damsel's portraiture was taken by my colleague (the handsome guy in the background). I was only practising how to remove parts of a subject in a photo from its background using the magic wand. Unfotunately, as I still had problems trying to extract the loose strands of hair (above the girl's right shoulder), I am sure you could easily notice the jagged edges left behind by a poor extraction. So in the end I chose a much darker backdrop. On hindsight, it would have been better if I had jus snipped off that affeced portion. hmm....

Anyway, hope you all like it.

Next time I will try watercolour backgrounds.... :)
Hey, one of my dreams is to be a famous wedding photographer, like Hilarion Goh!!!
He is already a well-known photographer in cyberspace now.

Thanks for reading my blogs. I hope they have been enriching, as well as entertaining :)

Fw: Quote of the Week 07 - 2008

The Mind is like a Parachute,

It only works when it's open.

Make my day.

I am waiting for the tow-truck!!
2nd time in a week! One day apart from another!

Somehow I must still make this day special. This is my day! This day has got to be special. Yesterday I was upset how fast time flies and I realised I had been feeling the loss more because I turned back my head and saw the day zoomed past me.

Today, I must start looking forward! What is past, is past and stays past.
Face forward - in the direction where your feet are pointing towards.

So, this is my day - no matter what!

Blind Man Driving

Suddenly I have just realised something. But it took me too long....

How fast time flies. Each time when I face my blog, I would just feel stressed because it is another weekend again.

Hey, It’s Saturday again! This is a Saturday in February in 2008. Since when I had started counting the Saturdays? I think since 2004. Now, it is 2008. So I have been 4 years behind schedule.

4 years ago, I embarked on a course which I had failed to complete. Needless to say, think I have wasted way too much money (and time) on my own education. Now it has to be application time.
Actually, and looking back, I shouldn’t have been asking myself what I had been doing these past weeks that flew past. Christmases, New Year Days, Birthdays, Anniversaries ..... Hey, they are past, the moment they slipped by. If I am just focussing on re-catching the sand that has just slipped through my fingers, I will only lose even more that are still in my hand.

"What should next Saturday be?"

This should have been the right question I should be asking myself all along.

I promise my life has to be DIFFERENT. So I shouldn't have been driving forward by looking in the rear-view mirror. So, to move forward, I should be looking forward!

HABIT #7 - THINK WIN-WIN

As mentioned upfront, political conflicts happen because of conflicting interests. Perhaps due to our schooling, we are taught that to win, someone else needs to lose. Conversely, we are afraid to let someone else win, because it implies losing for us.

In business and work, that doesn’t have to be the case. Learn to think in terms of “how can we both win out of this situation?”

This requires that you first understand the other party’s perspective and what’s in it for him. Next, understand what’s in it for you. Strive to seek out a resolution that is acceptable and beneficial to both parties. Doing this will ensure that everyone truly commit to the agreed resolution and not pay only lip-service to it.

People simply don’t like to lose. You may get away with win-lose tactics once or twice, but very soon, you’ll find yourself without allies in the workplace. Thinking win-win is an enduring strategy that builds allies and help you win in the long term.

HABIT #6 - SEEK TO UNDERSTAND, BEFORE BEING UNDERSTOOD

The reason people feel unjustified is because they felt misunderstood. Instinctively, we are more interested in getting the others to understand us than to understand them first. Top people managers and business leaders have learned to suppress this urge.


Surprisingly, seeking to understand is a very disarming technique. Once the other party feels that you understand where he/she is coming from, they will feel less defensive and be open to understand you in return. This sets the stage for open communications to arrive at a solution that both parties can accept. Trying to arrive at a solution without first having this understanding is very difficult - there’s little trust and too much second-guessing.

HABIT #5 - DON’T GET PERSONAL

In office politics, you’ll get angry with people. It happens. There will be times when you feel the urge to give that person a piece of your mind and teach him a lesson. Don’t.


People tend to remember moments when they were humiliated or insulted.


Even if you win this argument and get to feel really good about it for now, you’ll pay the price later when you need help from this person. What goes around comes around, especially at the work place. To win in the office, you’ll want to build a network of allies which you can tap into. The last thing you want during a crisis or an opportunity is to have someone screw you up because they habour ill-intentions towards you - all because you’d enjoyed a brief moment of emotional outburst at their expense.


Another reason to hold back your temper is your career advancement. Increasingly, organizations are using 360 degree reviews to promote someone. Even if you are a star performer, your boss will have to fight a political uphill battle if other managers or peers see you as someone who is difficult to work with. The last thing you’ll want is to make it difficult for your boss to champion you for a promotion.

HABIT #4 - DON’T TAKE SIDES

In office politics, it is possible to find yourself stuck in between two power figures who are at odds with each other. You find yourself being thrown around while they try to outwit each other and defend their own position. All at the expense of you getting the job done. You can’t get them to agree on a common decision for a project, and neither of them want to take ownership of issues; they’re too afraid they’ll get stabbed in the back for any mishaps.


In cases like this, focus on the business objectives and don’t take side with either of them - even if you like one better than the other. Place them on a common communication platform and ensure open communications among all parties so that no one can claim “I didn’t say that”.


By not taking sides, you’ll help to direct conflict resolution in an objective manner. You’ll also build trust with both parties. That’ll help to keep the engagements constructive and focus on business objectives.

HABIT #3 - FOCUS ON YOUR CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE

At work, there are often issues which we have very little control over. It’s not uncommon to find corporate policies, client demands or boss mandates which affects your personal interests. Bitching and complaining are common responses to these events that we cannot control. But think about it, other than that short term emotional outlet, what tangible results do bitching really accomplish? In most instances, none.


Instead of feeling victimized and angry about the situation, focus on the things that you can do to influence the situation - your circle of influence.


This is a very empowering technique to overcome the feeling of helplessness. It removes the victimized feeling and also allows others to see you as someone who knows how to operate within given constraints. You may not be able to change or decide on the eventual outcome, but you can walk away knowing that you have done the best within the given circumstances. Constraints are all around in the workplace; with this approach, your boss will also come to appreciate you as someone who is understanding and positive.

HABIT #2 - KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO ACHIEVE

When conflicts happens, it’s very easy to be sucked into tunnel-vision and focus on immediate differences. That’s a self-defeating approach. Chances are you’ll only invite more resistance by focusing on differences in people’s positions or opinions.

The way to mitigate this without looking like you’re fighting to emerge as a winner in this conflict is to focus on the business objectives. In the light of what’s best for the business, discuss the pros and cons of each option. Eventually, everyone wants the business to be successful; if the business don’t win, then nobody in the organization wins. It’s much easier for one to eat the humble pie and back off when they realize the chosen approach is best for the business.

By learning to steer the discussion in this direction, you will learn to disengage from petty differences and position yourself as someone who is interested in getting things done. Your boss will also come to appreciate you as someone who is mature, strategic and can be entrusted with bigger responsibilities.

An Entrepreuner and A Businessman

What makes someone an entrepreneur and someone else a businessman?

A businessman is tied to his business. He could have started it through innovation, or through sheer hardwork and took over the rein from somebody else. But he has an obligation to tend to his business to prevent it from failing. Sometimes, he has to cut losses if his business doesn't seem to do well. What makes a good businessman and what makes one a poor businessman?

There has to be 1 right decision, 1 wrong decision and 1 no-decision.

But there can be only 1 bad outcome out of all outcomes, if I had chosen to act on the decisions that I have made.

1. Right Execution at the right time

2. Execution at a less ideal time

3. Wrong execution

Many of us have dreams of making money but only the one who dares stretch out his hand and asks for a dollar, makes a dollar. But in order to be successful, this has to be consistent and repeatable with consistent results. I would feel a beggar who has consistent takings everday by investing his time sitting in the street has better ROI than the one sitting down here penning it all down on his blogs :)

But I won't beg. Yet, if I still do not seek, I will not find. If I refuse to learn to ask, I will never learn.