16Oct2006

Have been feeling rather down lately also. I think it probably has nothing to do with work but rather, with things going about at work and also how things have been turning out for some of my friends.

I have a friend whom I have always treated like a brother. He is about to submit his resignation letter. Perhaps it is for the better for himself and his family he has to feed. Reminds me of another younger (but much taller) brother. He too has a family to take care of and the pay that my department is currently offering can never match. I think, if it is the packet of pay which will make one smiles brighter at the end of the month, why not? I would have considered myself dumb if I would not secure a neat piece of cheese and put it on the dinner table for my family.

There's been these talks about pay lately and we have been tasked to find out how we could improve our basic pay structure to help our colleagues feel better and help them consider staying on in the department. Yet, at the other corner, there have been people asking how much they should be asking for if they wish to join another organisation. Unfortunately, I must admit I am not a good soothsayer. Neither am I good at guestimates. I can read character though, but it is not something that will get anyone being stereotyped. But somehow, I could sense where one stands along that Mercenary-Missionary spectrum where it concerns Pay and job satisfaction. It just helps me to guess, with a fair bit of accuracy, about a person's tendencies during decision-making process. Perhaps that is often how I got my repeated customers to tell them about their future.

But the future has only 2.
Generaly, everyone should be optimistic and all should do any good job well. If they keep at doing it with all their hearts, I know they will get somewhere. Provided they own up to their mistakes and shortcomings and learn to overcome their personal barriers and hindrances which rob them of their final achievements. Don't have to read the 8 Habits.

The other future is more realistic: This world will definitely end soon, whether it means one's internal world, or the world at large. Someday at last, we will have to place our feet down and slowly drag the carousel of time to a halt. Then we will get out of this circle of life. We have been through childhood, adolescence, teens, puppy-loves and infactuations. We have finally found the one we will commit our lives to - for better or for worse, for rich or for poor. We also have seen many of our friends being given in marriage or attended their housewarming parties. But soon, the number of days to come will begin to catch up with the number of friends we are left with. That's the reality.

If we have been cruel and loveless, the amount of vegan meals we eat later on probably aint going to be enough to provide good karma. See, our dentition may be a problem by the time we try to catch up. I don't know.

I stand at the crossroads everyday and there are countless decisions to be made. I personally believe that whichever path one chooses, it does not necessarily depend on the reward that one will receive at the end of that path. But rather, it should be the good that one has given to those he meets along the path that he has chosen. It also does not really matter anyway, whereever one goes, or whichever company one joins ultimately, etc etc. Whatever the decision that was made, and whereever you have chosen to plant your feet, grow. Do good. That's what this chance to prod on earth is all about. We are humans endowed with conscience, and afinity towards fellow kind, to prevent harming ourselves and others that we share this place with.

I wish that when I turn 62, I will have still more friends who will walk the rest of the way with me. Not that I crave attention nor love to be surrounded by people, I just feel that it is important we will ultimately live life to the fullest and by conscience, done our best. Run the good race, fight the good fight.